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Thought that I was strong, but falling for you felt to sweet and to good...

With the days that passed Guga infiltrated deeper and deeper in my mind and well under my skin. I tried to ignore him, refuse to believe what my mind was telling me. I wanted to be true to Cassidy, but I feared she will never understand so I  buried these feeling even deeper.

I hated my self to let me fall for him, I tried to ignore him,  walk away, but this was not possible. Leaving him behind forcing myself to make me forget him, forcing myself to find something wrong within him, I even started building up possibilities of my own to make me turn my mind away from him. But ....his face, his words....I could not just ignore. Guga followed me and kept calling my name and I followed.

Then an obsession, a constant image in my head, violently invading my thoughts, I wanted to know more, I wanted to know who and why this person was invading my thoughts. I wanted to know or find something that would have made me hate him, to give me a reason to cut off this relation, and burn the bridges that connected us.

I wanted to make sure this person was for real. I wanted to know everything about him. Secretly I looked up for him on the web...

For days I looked and searched using the little information I had, then when I was sick and tired of it and about to give up... information started to emerge.

First a picture then a second name, then a university a working place...slowly was building an image of who this Guga was, I realised that all that he shared was real.  I felt so bad  to have doubted him, to have not believed.

I now knew all about him his family, working place, friends and favourite places to hang. This obsession devoured  every thing else...he was a constant in my head. He could not leave...he wouldn't leave..and I wouldn't let him go.... it was now to late to go back.

No more I walked away, Stranded and tired I let my self fall into destiny's hands....  

Picture by tumblr