Cupidity [7]

Shadow Dancer.

Here is a fun one that I liked very much, and had fun watching. 

 Fantasy meets reality.

Seeams just like out of Peter pan's story! 

hope that you like it too. 

So let me to steal a few minutes of your time again, eight really!. 

But its worth it... promise! 

Let me know what you think! love to hear from you!. 

...

Enjoy!. 

Shadow dancer corneto short movie.

Cupidity [6]

Drawings and Dreams.

Here is a very special one that I liked very much, 

a bit dreamy, a bit fantasy, but that is why I like it. 

hope that you like it too. 

So let me to steal five minutes of your time again, eight really!. 

But its worth every minute! 

Let me know what you think! love to hear from you!. 

...

Enjoy!. 

cornetto short movie; drawings and dreams.

Cupidity [5]

The Oasis.

Hum...hmm not quite sure what to think about this one, 

Oh well guess everyone got to follow his very own special path!. 

Time for me to steal five minutes of your time again, 

I promise its a short one!.

Let me know what you think! love to hear from you!. 

...

Enjoy!. 

Cornetto short movie; Oasis. 

Cupidity [4]

Together Apart.

Its time for me to steal five minutes of your time again, 

This is a heart melting one, hope you like it as much as I did. 

Its sad at moments and sweet at others.

Let me know what you think! love to hear from you!. 

...

Enjoy!. 

cornetto short movie; together apart 

Cupidity [3]

Kismet Diner.

Here is the third video for you.

 Remember the films all follow a pattern, the same theme, 

but every story is different, not the sentiment though. 

This is one of my favorite so far, yet my favorite is yet to come, guess

 I'm keeping the best for last!, 

although I think this is the sweetest of them all. 

Let me know what you think! love to hear from you!. 

...

Enjoy!. 

Kismet Diner: by corneto short movie.

 

Cupidity [2]

Margot. 

And here is the second video for you.

 Same theme same plot different story, because every story is unique. 

Let me know what you think! love to hear from you!. 

...

Enjoy!. 

Margot. by cornetto short film. 

Cupidity [1]

Beauty and the geek. 

Have a little time to sneak something out for you today, hope you like this short film I have found for you. I have found this one very sweet. 

Let me know what you think!. 

...

Enjoy! 

Cupidity by: corneto Beauty and the geek short movie.

The one to save me.

                          This is my secret.... 

                                     This is my story... 

                                               This is how I was saved... 

I am not sure what was it, or I am not sure how this happened, but let me try find how and count the ways this happened.

It might have been her dark slightly shy eyes, her eyes.... yes! her eyes.. sharp! yet, slightly sunken.... the way she tugged at her hair twisting her long curls. The way she let a smile escape from her plump rosy lips, surrounded by white skin. Her smiles and giggles sound naive, yet they have a mysterious feel to them. The way she closes her eyes to dream, and many times to let a tear escape down her cheeks, shutting her eyelids as tight as she could, ignoring the word around, or perhaps wishing it away pretending no one was looking.... not even me.  Her big dreams, her fantasies... how incredible they sound, many times exaggerated..... just like tales narrated to amuse little kids, may be this is what keeps me young.

The way she fitted perfectly against my chest while she reached her hands around me, holding me tightly. The smell of her skin.... her cool feeling skin...sometimes she shivers with just the slight of a breeze...

Perhaps one last thing...the way she looked at me... like I could save her from all the bad things in the world, Like I was the only one left that could save her...

                   This is my secret...
                             This is my story...
                                       She was the one to save me...

Picture by tumblr.

.

Harvester Of Stars

Harvester of stars, 

Lost among a million dreams, 

Wake! its not a dream. 

Reached for your hand, as we walked towards the dark reaching the golden room, there! where everyone wore masks. It was not our place, or perhaps it was the place we so longed for. Among fake smiles and subtle chants we made our way to the top of the stairs, looked down and saw destiny unfold, looked up and saw past in its mighty golden glory.

Fantasised a bit to much, perhaps the wine, perhaps had a little to much. As we walked among the masks came to me for a second or two, a memory of a past night, were fireflies filled the air, were a sweet smell of blossoms saturated the air.

I many times wondered how to make you listen the sound that was still, now that I learned you heard I find it hard to speak. But tonight we are not wearing masks only us walked unashamed among the crowd of dancing  phantoms. Only us walked proudly unveiled.

As more and more the night went by, the stars seamed to shine less, perhaps shadowed by the brilliance of the floating city above, or perhaps out-shined by your glistening eyes as they foretold what they saw in the imminent future. A leap in the dark it may seam to be, but who are we to judge? without even giving it a chance.

We wore a grin as we went back down the stairway, proudly walked among the crowd, they bowed in wonder as they removed their masks. To our chariot made us way...

Picture by Hotei©

 

Siren to the sea

To me, you are as beautiful as the sea.

And like a siren cast ashore,

I heed your call. 

... 

I have watched your many faces change.

The still glassy calmness on the surface. 

The rough, troubled waters further deep. 

And I have decided that I love them all.  

For you are the one I belong to, my love.

I have watched, countless times from beneath  

This distorting film of water, those ships... 

Floating thoughts, which I could never read.   

Though I swam,hoping to see, yet only to know, 

Before I reached the shore, that I could not resist 

The hushing sound of your lullaby.. 

The waves, lapping soft, to caress my skin...

The gentle breeze at your soothing side... 

I could only see, that I could watch, forever, 

Those ships...dreams and memories, pulling me in 

For even if, I cannot understand, 

I'm still enthralled...captivated, my sea.

Only within you do I come to life. 

Carry me away, sweet surrender, to your tide.

Thanks to C for sharing this poem with me. 

Picture by Hotei ©

Whispered by C 

Sail me back home

The dreams we shared are slowly taking shape. Worked so hard to achieve the goals we've set and finally we are so close to collect the fruits from the plants that we planted a few years back. Collecting the fruits will not result in the end but hopefully just the start.

Time is going on by without giving us the time to realise, last June I was mourning a love (a friendship) that could and never be part of my life. Came across more then just emotions, my path kept crossing more and more people, some of them readers that perhaps wanted to know the face behind this mask. Or others, that felt like they knew me for a long while, from here I send all of my love to you all my dear friends.

Working to hard you told me. Well I don't mind I always reply, as long as the result shows, in the end that makes it all worthwhile working for, no matter how hard that might turn out to be.

...

"All work and no play makes jack a dull boy you told me with a grin on your face, and besides its your birthday you deserve it... Hoo what a day that was".

...

The sun was shining in its full glory, but yet a soft cold breeze kept making us hold back from calling it summer. You held on tightly to my arm as we set sail to the north, the waves gently rocked our boat while the  golden sun shimmered on the water somehow making us feel almost dizzy. Your eyes picked up notes from the golden strokes reflected on the waves making that moment even more enchanting.

Reached for my hand as we stared at the deep blue water making us question if what we had in front of us was real or just a figment of our imagination. The water kept calling us, inviting us to play with the cheeky waves. The waves were at times  teasing us  trying to reach our feet hanging down from behind the railing. Not long we were over come by the wanting, to feel the salty water on our skin, making us regret it the minute we dipped our toes in the freezing water.

Among a thousand people, giggles, laughs and smiles only one face was familiar to me, the only face I could see, the only face I know. It reminded me of a passed perfect day while we shivered in the icy crystal clear waters. Yet the setting made it all worthwhile and made me forget the other thousand faces surrounding me. The one smile I know, the smile on her face, a smile I could recognize among a thousand smiles.

Yet again the day had to come to an end, but not before a promise to return to this enchanted place, giving life to sleeping memories and giving birth to new paragraphs in this book called life.

For all of those who remembered my birthday, for all of the wonderful wishes I thank you my dear friends.

Pictures by Hotei ©

[LOVE] he wrote!

Static! he said, and guess he is right, I am hesitating when it comes to press the orange publish button. What's the point in writing posts? writing thoughts, then not finish the last line!. Guess this means that I am not feeling comfortable in my own skin any more. I think and ask myself, why I'm doing so? then I tell to myself wasn't this the reason I started this diary?.

Thinking of it, its true... I know he is right but guess there is much to learn, and we should have learnt this a long while ago.

Guess it was love that made me start... then later transformed (evolved) to something more deep, to something more personal, but it kept the same idea the same meaning. "Eclectic" at times but still it changed around the very same idea. Guess it changed with me as I grew, as I perhaps learned every time I stumbled, every time I choose a new path to walk.

Perhaps we have divided ideas about this or perhaps we see this trough a different lens, but guess our feelings are the same in the end.

I say...what is wrong in picking up the same theme? if every time its a different emotion I feel. Who wouldn't write down a deceleration on paper every time one feels butterflies in his stomach?. Every time one is dragged in a stranger eye...captured in a travellers smile...

Many times I promised my self not to write about love, but then there is always that one exception, that only one reason to just put a few words down. Guess some people make you heart beat faster even if you never looked straight in their face or heard their voice, or those other times when you thought you heard that capturing laugh resonating in you ear. That giggle that made you fall, and that smile that made you go so gaga uncountable times.

If you think about it, and you perhaps won't need to over work yourself about it you'll know how similar we are, how many times we crossed the same paths. Love with no returned feeling....love at a distance...love that was just a fickle dream...guess the reason must and will always be love....

Pictures by tumblr & google images 

Solitude

Ryuichi Sakamoto - Solitude

To you,
And for you,
Because...
You steal my heart
Capture my words
And posses my thoughts....







Solitude lingers.
A single note,
On the edge of a key.


Like your presence
When you are not with me.
A haunt to my sanity.


I feel your warmth
But you are not with me.
I hear your voice...
But you are not to hear me.


I am Only...


Quickly murmured Words,
Gentle While you sleep.
An Unspoken soft whisper,
A fragment of a dream.


Alone and pointless
Lingering, like solitude
On the edge of words
Hanging on to an over played key


Until....


With half a conscious smile towards me
You play that key into a melody 




This poem was gently whispered by C  Great thanks must go to her for sharing this with me. 
Thank you C 





Picture by tumblr  Music by Ryuichi Sakamoto Poem by C

Unlocked cage

A heart is a bird,

Feed the flame within this cage

Captive, yet its free...  

Picture by Hotei ©

Understanding

Once more they made their way into my dreams. Once again I have been awaken by murmurs inside my head. The uncontrollable urge to empty my mind. Now that I know there is no way back, there is no way to erase what's done. I can't just let them go, these unsaid words are to dear to me, to dear to let go...

How funny this is, funny... perhaps I should say awkward. Awkward, is a much suitable word to use.  Lately I been writing and writing every thought that crosses my mind. I been writing on every vessel that could carry my thoughts away.  Anything!, as long the surface was good enough to write on. Anything to stop the tormenting voices inside my head, voices of the words still unsaid. I know if I don't let them out they  cease to exist, and how can I do this to them, they did nothing wrong they were born for the single reason to preserve, to make her somehow listen more the words I never say. And how can I ever ignore them? these sweet nothings...

These sweet little noises, perhaps good to say more then just whispers. Not easy to let them out, I forced them down deep inside. Perhaps one day they will make more sense, perhaps one day she'll understand them more. Perhaps one day I will understand them more. Perhaps one day I will understand the same texts I write. Perhaps one day I will learn to read properly the language of my heart.

These words may not be worth enough to share, but maybe one day they will kiss air. Whispers gently carried by the air we breath. To make us understand more this sentiment that words enough can never explain.

I know she craves for more, I know it have become a drug that keeps her coming and wanting more. Not greed perhaps, more assurance that it was not a dream, not a figment of her imagination. I am sure words will spread, and once more words will be set free while she peeks in disguise...

This is you, the soft lullaby playing softly in my mind. 

Something I can't simply turn my back on. 

This is you, the clear image before my eyes. 

Something I can't just ignore. 

This is you, the gentile touch on my skin. 

Something I can feel and know is real. 

Picture by tumblr 

Remember

We came to a point were we almost lost it all. It was not easy to go trough it all. We are weak, we get lost, we stumble and fall but we manage to find each other every time.  

Remember...

There was this time were we thought we could never do it, that we could never reach the goals we have set. Set our goals to hight, we thought... asked to much!. There was this time were we felt so small, so helpless and that we could never find a way out. Silly us... the answer was always there in front of us. The answer was us, our love, our hopes and dreams.

Remember...

Perhaps this is how it works, how it is all suppose to work. It takes time, we constantly grow and learn. The past taught me a lot on how to be a man, small daily stories safely stored in the meanders of my mind. I hold on tightly to my past good or bad as it may have been. Perhaps I cant let go of some things I wish I have left behind but guess if I still hold onto them it means they were important to me enough to not let go.

Remember...

Sweated all of our blood to come were we are today, perhaps somewhat wiser. Somehow somewhat better. Now I can see reflections of you in my future, I can see you waving to me from behind a glass as I write down my thoughts while watching sunset. Can hear you calling me within those walls. I can see you laying down on the bed beside me staring at the ceiling, I can feel you  reaching for me and wrapping your arms around me, feeling your warm breath on my neck. I can see me smile back at you, holding you, wanting more of you every single day.

Remember...

We can follow the trail we left along the path of time, We can inhale the scent we left behind, we can remember the touch of our lips on each others skin.




This is what I want to remember...

Picture by tumblr

Sail me to shore

Katie Melua - If You Were A Sailboat

Last year this time we were planing how our life would have change in a year or so. Much have changed but we are still far from the goals we've set, far yet so close...

Guess all we have to do is to keep believing in the dreams we shared, we still share them after all. One day soon...very soon I hope... will become a reality.

Last year this time we walked down a sandy beach while the cool wind from the sea caressed our faces warmed by the soft sun of May. Our heart beating fast like a steam engine trying to catch up our breath  as we reached the shore...and feel the cold waters upon our feet. 

I remember it all as if it was only yesterday. Spent hours looking at a sailing boat gently rocking in the sea. And  we wondered how it would feel to be a sail-boat and wander from shore to shore. Wouldn't it be lovely?...

I remember the cold waters on our naked feet as we ran all the way back acting like kids again, or perhaps cause I fell in love again in that very moment...and yet again time seemed to have stopped. 

Thought it would have been a day just like every other ordinary day..walking silently along the sea hand in hand, perhaps...not uttering any word, letting a smile..a smirk transmit our feelings. 

Wouldn't it be lovely...if we could sit again on the same moist red sand sharing the beach with no one. And wouldn't it be lovely to find again the memories we left behind...I dearly keep these images of us, the beach, and that calm sail-boat almost enchanting on that perfect day. 

If you were a sail-boat I'll sail you to the same safe shore, I'll sail you safe through the storms. Not afraid of the high waves and the violent winds as they will blow me to this enchanted place, making me forget what we have just been through. I don't mind as long I'll have you. 

We soon had to go, the day got fast short, and we were no longer alone. But just before we turned our back, a last stare,  waved goodbye to that sail-boat promised we be back again to that very same shore, perhaps on another perfect day... 

For the words I never say, the feelings many times I don't show.

Bust just because I don't shout them out to the entire world it doesn't mean I don't love you... 

Thank you my love for reading my mind and understanding me even if many times my lips don't let out the words you expect to hear...

Pictures by Hotei 

Lyrics & music Katie Melua 

Humming the same old melody...

Katie Melua - Mary Pickford

I'm just a man with dreams, simple!, ordinary dreams, but these are the dreams that make my world as it is, myself as I am. Me... in my good days and bad days, good or bad as I may be. I may open my mind and write down my emotions in a few lines, trying to find a way to feel lighter; hoping, working and striving for these dreams to become a reality. I think of myself as a character in a book engaging new adventures with every line that I read, overcoming  obstacles, meeting new characters  discovering more with every page I read in this story I call life.....



For the past two weeks I have been working on the last few renovations left in our apartment. Many times I be just alone in the empty rooms, only me and the thoughts in my head, and the awaiting dreams within those walls...those walls that are already saturated with dreams, some of them shattered and others that I want to hold onto. These are the dreams and memories I want to share with you....



A recent memory I be holding on is the one that happened today, guess this is what make people fall deep in for each other...the capability to share memories trough time, to be able to look back and say we done this together, we have over come that together, even if many times some things are left unsaid...like we are afraid to utter words to express feelings, but the beauty within life is that sometimes we can say a thousand word without talking....a look, a smile can tell a million things....

"Mary Pickford used to eat roses 

Thought that they'd make her beautiful and they did, 

one supposes.. "

 ...I hum, when I be standing on the stool trying to re-give glory to the old iron doors. Simply painting I find it to be almost therapeutic, it calms me and makes me feel happy....

"Douglas Fairbanks, he was so handsome,

He wore a moustache, 

Must-a had much cash, too,

Worth a king's ransom..."

  

...Well I be alone when singing, not everyone can appreciate talent or recognise a good voice when they hear it, if you get my drift...

"Charlie Chaplin, he was invited, 

When these artists became united..."

...Today I was not alone, Cass came along and helped me with the works. Time goes by faster when you have company and exchange a few words...or a smile perhaps... 

"David Griffith worked as an extra, 

Then as a stage-hand, 

Until they let him be

A director"

... Therapeutic yes! if done for a short while that is...after a few hours or better say days it is not even remotely calming and I find it of not any benefit at all...

"Dave was brave, a mover and shaker,

A true pioneer,

He seemed to show no fear, 

A real film maker"

....Made my self a coffee....coffee always makes the trick. Wandered in the empty rooms thinking of just nothing holding my brown hot mug in my hand, when I heard a soft hum...walked towards the familiar tune, there she was, with that sweet soft grin on her face...reminding me why I fell in love with her...

"They tied the knot together, 

Groom and bride couldn't hide their pleasure,

They tried to pick fair weather, 

But love died, didn't last forever"

...It is strange yet fascinating how she picked the same song I always sing when I'm alone...Thought I was dreaming...no it was real...real like the memory I be holding of this day....

"Mary Pickford used to eat roses, 

Thought that they'd make her beautiful and they did, 

One supposes......"

...

Written down as a reminder as I constantly grow... love, perhaps unspoken and for the things I leave unsaid....to you my lovely sweet inspiration. Thank you to be the simple you, I happen to love very much that simple you....yours Hotei.

Picture by Hotei

Music   & lyrics by Katie Melua 

A hasty decision (part 3)

If you set a rule to a child, like, "never open that drawer" what really happens is always the opposite, curiosity over comes and the child does anything but what you told him not to do...

                                                                          ~0~


Guga kept warning me to never fall for him, but I ignored all of his warnings, I simply could not control what I was feeling, and lets be honest, who can control his own feelings?. Sentiments cant be tamed or controlled and we can never choose for who or when we will fall, its just like an unwritten law.

I ignored every warning and sign, many times I thought about turning my back on him and simply walk away, just like nothing ever happened. But the image of him was stuck in my head and I could not get it out no matter what. The questions,  what should I do, why this happened and why him? was a constant in my head, it never left me not even when I was away with Cassidy. Then after a few weeks everything started not making any sense at all. Destiny, guess this time I am right when I call it destiny... followed me and tormented me without any mercy. Whatever I did and wherever I ran  the name Guga and the name Lisbon followed me, it was not just in my head, it was real, it was happening...

I could not find any option but to face this and I had to face him. Without any hesitation I thought of a way to end this once and for all. It would have been my make me or brake me decision. I could have lost everything I had and every one I loved, but I could not see any other way out.

Secretly subscribed with an online company to keep me posted with any vacancies for jobs of all sorts in Lisbon. I could not say a word of Portuguese not even to save my own life, but I could speak English, it could work I thought.  Searched for a place to stay and organised all of my accounts to have at least a few months without worrying about finances. Not after long I started browsing and sending my "Curriculum Vitae" to different companies in Lisbon, to my surprise just a few days later I received my first replies for a work.
There I thought more and more that this idea was a good choice. Found a place where to stay, and checked for flights, I wanted to be ready to leave any time.

My suitcase was packed and ready to go, just...was I ready to go? without a proper farewell to my love, and not even an explanation why this was happening.

And what would I do when I meet him?, if I meet him.... Would I recognise his face in the crowd?. His image was printed in my head, I would have, I thought.  But would he recognise me if he saw me? and what if he did, would that change anything?. And would I face my fears and talk to him if I did?. If I met him there... would he be different from the person I learned to know from miles away?.      

For days I stared at my suitcase, days in which I prayed that what I was about to do was the right choice.
I hoped for a sign, hope was all I had to hold onto. Leaving the world I knew, to step into the unknown void...

Pictures By google images