Perfect is just a myth

Mistakes...I have done a whole bunch of them in my life, but I always try not to regret any of them. I have come a long way since I have started this long journey. Now that I have come this far I feel more mature perhaps much stronger, my personality changed morphing my feelings for you with it.

Its funny how things turn out to be, everything happens when you least expect it to happen. I always told myself that the day I meet you I was just too early now that you decided to call my name I'm afraid you are simply to late. I know you don't believe me but I loved you even if I tasted your poison over and over again, and still I fell for you time and time again. I know you don't believe me but I'm ready to turn my back on you without ever looking back.

I am not sad, I am just angry. Angry for the way  I have been treated. For the many times I have been deceived, and for the fact that I let you deceive me in the first place. I can't hate you, no! I simply can't, but you do make me angry. Angry not with yourself but with my own self for believing in you and all of your lies. I believe you  even when I know you lie, guess this is what stupid sentiments lead to. Go on you can lie to me, pretend you really mean what you say.

You play the role of the one who is holy, making me look like I was the one who was wrong. But can't you see? now they know it was you all-along. I am ready to face the mistakes I commit, but I'll be taking you down with me making you choke and drown in your own contradictions and lies.

I know you don't believe me but if you ever need me I be there, this is how much important you have been to me. I have been here before, so now I know the game you play, and besides the game is not fun if we'r not two to play. So don't try to force words down my throat this time, I'm not a child any more. Long I have learned that perfect does not exist...

How does it feel now that you lost your king's throne?

We constantly learn, we learn from those who show us to be better and we learn even more from those who want us to be worst by showing us what wrong is. 

Picture by tumblr (Attaining Nirvana) 

Reminiscences...

 I lost count on how many times I promised not to write about  you... 

But how can you drown the will to put a stop to the constant loss of those sweet memories...

 I lost count on how many times I promised not to think of you... 

 But how can you not think, when everything reminds me of you...  

 I lost count on how many times I promised not to dream of you...

 But who can ever decide what one dreams... 

I know you wish me to be gone, but yet I know something holds you back from leaving the thought of me behind. Darling you delivered your bleeding heart to me, but I was simply too scared to hold your hand. God knows how much it hurt me to see you depart, and God knows how hard it was to force my lips shut and utter no sound.

I have tried to ignore this feeling but yet something pulls me back to you over and over again. I promise that I will never shatter your world again, not for fear to break my own as mine turned to ashes the day you turned your back and walked away...far...without ever looking back.

How can you deny there was love where once there was emptiness... now it hurts even more to know we drown our feelings to deny each other...thus we do.

Alas, you had to leave, I will not weep for you today, but will shed a tear of joy as gratitude for coming into my life and fill it with short happy moments....moments I'll treasure trough my whole life.

Darling you came into my life faster then thunder and then left even more fast. You did not stay long into my life, but just long enough to leave your imprint on this thick skinned man.  

Darling I send you my love and a reminder that I'll always be here for you now and always... 

Picture by tumblr 

Sail me to shore

Katie Melua - If You Were A Sailboat

Last year this time we were planing how our life would have change in a year or so. Much have changed but we are still far from the goals we've set, far yet so close...

Guess all we have to do is to keep believing in the dreams we shared, we still share them after all. One day soon...very soon I hope... will become a reality.

Last year this time we walked down a sandy beach while the cool wind from the sea caressed our faces warmed by the soft sun of May. Our heart beating fast like a steam engine trying to catch up our breath  as we reached the shore...and feel the cold waters upon our feet. 

I remember it all as if it was only yesterday. Spent hours looking at a sailing boat gently rocking in the sea. And  we wondered how it would feel to be a sail-boat and wander from shore to shore. Wouldn't it be lovely?...

I remember the cold waters on our naked feet as we ran all the way back acting like kids again, or perhaps cause I fell in love again in that very moment...and yet again time seemed to have stopped. 

Thought it would have been a day just like every other ordinary day..walking silently along the sea hand in hand, perhaps...not uttering any word, letting a smile..a smirk transmit our feelings. 

Wouldn't it be lovely...if we could sit again on the same moist red sand sharing the beach with no one. And wouldn't it be lovely to find again the memories we left behind...I dearly keep these images of us, the beach, and that calm sail-boat almost enchanting on that perfect day. 

If you were a sail-boat I'll sail you to the same safe shore, I'll sail you safe through the storms. Not afraid of the high waves and the violent winds as they will blow me to this enchanted place, making me forget what we have just been through. I don't mind as long I'll have you. 

We soon had to go, the day got fast short, and we were no longer alone. But just before we turned our back, a last stare,  waved goodbye to that sail-boat promised we be back again to that very same shore, perhaps on another perfect day... 

For the words I never say, the feelings many times I don't show.

Bust just because I don't shout them out to the entire world it doesn't mean I don't love you... 

Thank you my love for reading my mind and understanding me even if many times my lips don't let out the words you expect to hear...

Pictures by Hotei 

Lyrics & music Katie Melua 

Pixel 3rd edition "Happy Xmas"

A few months back I was invited to join and write a short story with the theme (Happy Xmas) by Pixel. 

I must say It was not easy to fit all of what I had to say in just 250 words, but somehow I kind of managed. I enjoyed every second and every word I wrote down for this competition, and I be looking forward for the next! always if I be given the chance to participate.  

Today the E-book is out and launched. INDEX E-books have provided Copies on this link  HERE

Also printed copies are available on demand and orders. 

Amazon 

Create space 

INDEX Say...

"The spirit of Christmas always so controversial" was the motto for the Pixel 3, whose theme was inspired by the music of John Lennon Happy Xmas. As in previous editions of the competition, the aspect of true stories had a significant weight, and this time with a special meaning for documenting one side less "happy" Christmas. This edition saw the participation of 27 authors, 32 stories (prose, in poetry and video / design), fulfilling the purpose of having beyond the stories written in prose form. For the first time the competition was won by a fiction story and it was due to the fact that the fictional stories have achieved exceptional quality!!.

PIXEL 1 and 2  short stories  collection by various authors

 More from INDEX...

The contest Pixel (small stories lgbt) happens in the world of blogs, in the vast minority of the so called "blogsphere", and has featured two issues that took place on the blog (NET) that I am the author. The goal was not to hook and address professional  writers, but stories, be they true or imagined, and presented in a variety of forms (prose, poetry, video, images, sounds ...). The first contest was dedicated to the theme  "Good friends are hard to find"    song by Ed Harcourt  (which also gives the name to my blog), because it is a topic that we are always very important, and because at the core of "blogosphere"  friends are important and they are at the heart of writing, "especially those hardest to find". The second edition of Pixel had the motto  That hug   song by Gilberto Gil, because the  "blogosphere" is also a big hug that unites us all, including those on the other side of the Atlantic.

You...

There where the sun rests

There where the wind dies

There where the echo sleeps

There where the stars are born

There where love resides

There I found you...

Picture by Hotei