Autumn leaves...

"Just like the last  Autumn leaf falling to the ground  your silence is the sign of the end..".

Many nights I have seen the sun setting over me and rising on her, although she's far, I felt her near.
Many times I heard  you breath in my head, watched you sleep, you watched me sleep...
How many times I watched dawn?  and how many times  you watched the fall of dusk?.
How many times I missed you...how many times you missed me?.

Now it feels like its hard to breath...I cant find my peace of mind.
Collecting the leaves that fall to freeze her memory  as Winter fall,
You wandered long, travelled so far, to the end of the world, followed your heart.

Can't leave this past behind, in my memories your image lives.
Like Autumn leaves, making love before they hit the ground.

Tell me now my dear, is this all for real? 

You say your happy... you look pretty good...
You said you'll call me...I promised that too...
But none of us dared to break the silence that Autumn brought..we just watched Winter fall...

Sweet.... sweet romance, warm and bright... an old feeling, but yet so new, lingers in my head... imprinted in my heart...

The warm flame of romance soon died as the last Autumn leaf felled to the ground.

If winter melts away there will be chance for more romance?

                                                                                 I see... chances are so few....

"I'v watched  the sun rising on you and its now it sets on me..".

Pictures by DeviantArt and tumblr

 

Happy Christmas

Exactly one year ago, when I got back from work sat on my bed with a hot cup of tea and switched on my lappy. All I wanted was to relax and not hear the word food at all!.

What actually happened was that I had to step by step guide a friend trough "Skype" making the famous Portuguese dish "Sericaia"  back then alien to me!. Of-course told a white lie and said I knew how to make it! (Mr Chef could not let his friend down).  Ended  up in disaster,  but the taste was pretty good!.

So let me share this typical Portuguese recipe!

Ingredients;

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour (sifted, then measured)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup whole milk
• Zest of 1/2 lemon, removed in strips with a vegetable peeler
• 1/2 stick cinnamon
• 4 large eggs, separated
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Method; 

Preheat oven to 350° F (135°C, Gas Mark 1). In small, heavy, non-reactive saucepan, combine 1/4 cup sugar with flour and salt, then whisk in milk. Drop in lemon zest and cinnamon stick. Set pan over moderate heat and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture just boils and forms stiff batter, 5 to 7 minutes.

Remove pan from heat and whisk in egg yolks. Set mixture aside to cool, whisking occasionally, 15 minutes.

In large bowl using electric mixer, beat egg whites until fluffy and texture of thick sea foam. Gradually beat in remaining 1/4 cup sugar, then continue beating until soft peaks form.

Remove lemon zest and cinnamon stick from cooled egg yolk mixture and discard. Gently fold 1/3 of beaten whites into yolk mixture. Scoop mixture onto remaining beaten whites and fold in gently but thoroughly until no streaks remain.

Mound batter in un-greased 9-inch ceramic or glass pie pan. Sift ground cinnamon over batter, covering completely. Place pan on baking sheet. Bake on middle oven rack until centre is set and cracks have formed on surface, about 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cool to room temperature.

Tips;

• Sericaia will fall slightly — this is to be expected Cut into wedges to serve.
• 
  
• Sericaia will keep, loosely covered, at room temperature up to 2 days.
• 
  
• Avoid over-beating the egg whites,Once you've added the sugar, beat them to the soft-peak stage.
• 
  
• When the beater is lifted, the whites should form peaks, then slowly flop over. You want them to flow from the bowl, rather than slide out in one Styrofoam-like lump."

Dear Lisbon

I don't know what hurts more...to love and not be loved back or loosing love....

Got out of bed and still half asleep made it to the kitchen, made my self tea...yeah TEA, not coffee as usual!. Then made it to the bathroom opened the cold water that now is freezing cold, but have to say that made the trick!. Looked in the mirror, stared at my reflection with blood shot eyes and dark circles, tired from lack of sleep and the long hours staring at an idle laptop screen.

I can't just ignore these voices in my head, I must share, I must remove these thoughts I have...I must face the ghost of you.








Dear Lisbon,


I wish to share a few thoughts with you. I might have overreacted  last time. Guess I gave you no time to reply, to answer my 100 questions in 1 minute!.  I reflected and thought a lot during the day.. then to hear your voice after such a long time, to be able to hear you breath and giggle in my ears. I can't get you out of my head yet again, your voice still resonates in my head leaving me with a bitter sweet migraine. 

What is it that constantly makes you come back, now somehow, somewhat even more determined  then ever?. Now you plan to come to me... I'm scared to face it...I'm scared to face you.  What is it that I feel?. This feeling inside is new, yet I know it somehow. Its like to explore something that is forbidden to me something that I was never supposed to have...and now, its in sight and can't wait to grab it and make it mine!. 

Yet this is just a dream nothing else nothing more. One day I'll wake from this dream, to find out the truth. 

Yours... the pawn of destiny 

Picture by tumblr

Castle of glass

Dear listeners of whispers sorry for my moments of rage but had to get this off my chest! 

so please bare with me here...

oooh!! and by the way this is not "Emo" talk its just setting my thoughts free... 

-------o------

"I have promised myself not to fall again for you. It took me months to built a castle...... a castle of glass".

I can't remember how many sleepless nights I've gone trough, what I have sifted in my mind,  how many nights I slept only to dream of you. I built a castle to protect my self, I choose glass to built it...the purest ...the clearest...now its cracked with just a single word ..."I love you" ....

A wise woman once told me "if you love some one you'll do anything to be with this person, no matter what". I do agree now with her words more then ever. I look back and I see myself... I was ready to leave my world, all I had...all I worked so hard for. For just a feeling...not even sure if it would be exchanged back, but I didn't care!. I discovered the cold truth...that you knew no love!. Something I knew deep inside me and never wanted to come close to it and admit it. Now your back saying you'll do anything for me....where are you then?.

I put at steak my sanity, my dignity, my life.. all I had ..all I am...
Then you left!.... leaving me here wondering if I was the bad guy....like I was the one to crush this world..tare up dreams...then you come to me and tell me "I love you"...I know what love is! I don't need you to show me...what are you hungry for is not love....I told you many times...more then I can remember, sex and love are too different things....
You say you know the difference...then proof it! Dare what you have never dared to do! follow your wildest dreams, chase this crazy dream...follow your destiny...or change your own destiny as you say!.
 I be waiting...here I stand with my arms wide open waiting for you. Or are you afraid to?.

Truth is you left me thinking...you where gone for days...weeks..months and now your back saying you love me.... you want me!. How can I know what you say is real? how can I know?.

It took me months to wash away the poison from my skin, you left a bitter taste in my mouth...yet I still craved for you...  more.

You know I'm weak, you know I'll fall...after all I'm just human as much as tough I might show I am. I am a person of pride...I am may be to naive, I am may be to real for this world full of masks...says the man with the hidden name...

Every one we meet leaves a trail a print in us, as much as insignificant that print is...its there, you can ignore it but its still there.

You say you love me ...I say I don't want to love you..its a lie I know..... its a lie..... I made up this lie , but I happen to love this lie....

Darling I have gone to far to go back now...but I can change the ending to this tale, as once I said "we are part of a story, part of a tale but no one is to blame". 

These words are funny to come out of me, me who saw your face in every corner, heard your voice carried with the wind.....this time I'll work with my head my darling, my heart will follow.... there will be no more cracks in my castle walls.....

pictures by tumblr 

continuation from the lights of Lisbon

1...2....3...

After being reviewed on tripadvisor.com and received the award of best recommended restaurant  and now one of the top listed on the site worldwide!!. Last week the restaurant received a culinary award! the fast escalation of its popularity doesn't seem to stop!

Some things are not meant to happen....

What irony!! For the 3rd year in a row the restaurant I'm working in receives a nominee, and guess what?! we won! placing 6th on the island! Happy you say? hum ....yes I am, but guess some acknowledgement  wont hurt!! What I mean you ask? To make a very long story short, Changed 3 working places in the last 3 years and for the 3rd time in a row, the restaurant  I moved in  wins! placing in the top 10!

3 years ago... I was head in an Asian restaurant (fusion more like it), I was approached by the director and he asked me to represent the restaurant! I was pretty exited as I had never attended such an event! and to say it all, to be age 25 receiving such an honour was like winning the lottery ( not quite but close enough).  2 days before the presentation...chef (executive) comes to me saying "Mind if I send someone else? I think he deserves it more then you!" (sure he does!!!! ^^ he worked so hard in those 6 days in total over a span of a year!!! That must have been the reason why we won!!! ^^ ). So there! 1 award down! tough shit! better luck next time!.

2 years ago... (1 year later) after a month from the presentation of the award director comes to me and says "Hotei! we need you to take care of the new restaurant" so it was! for a year I took great care and did my very best (just as always... too proud not too!). Guess what? nominated again!. Managing director again "Hotei!, congrats you go represent the restaurant". Well I thought better late then never! ....Executive chef "Hotei I'm sending this chap instead of you! I'll save you the trip" (sure! keep doing this to me! as if I wanted to go!!! ^^ ). This was the final blow! one of the things that made me resign from my job! (or at least one of the final blows!!). 
Well not all was lost! the "Chap" could not make it, so Chef sent the head waitress instead (course not me! why bother?!) well as she was handed over the award she said in a loud voice...."This is for you Hotei! you should be here instead of me!!!"   heheheh I was not present on the day but I heard Chef turned to a green colour!!!!.  

And last but not least just a few days ago Mr crabs comes to me and said "What an amazing night! we just won an award! but I'm sending no one! we are short of stuff ...you know!" ( but of-course your royal stinginess !!!!!)

Guess some things are never meant to happen..... lets see, might get a surprise next year!.

Picture Google images