Goodbye Darling.....

Took two days of rest and back to work I was ...everyone was concerned about me, received many messages, and many paid me a visit at the restaurant when I returned  back to work...everyone, except for one .... Ta Chan!!...

She never came to say hi again...she started avoiding me....I kept asking my self, why?...I have done noting wrong to her..or did I? was it my abrupt escape on New year's? or there was something else deep inside? could it have been Jo?. Could he be imposing her not to see me?. But why?. well deep inside I knew the answers I just didn't want to admit it!. Although I missed Ta Chan I made a point that I will not fall!, I would not go looking for her up in the Japanese Restaurant, after all, it will do the both of us good, at least that is what I thought back then.

As days gone bye I sort of placed my heart at rest, now she had her life rolling again, so I could understand that she wanted not to see me, although I find it pretty stupid, as we worked in the same establishment and many times we were just a few meters away, and the only few times we happened to cross our ways in the back area she could only "say Hi Hotei...bye Hotei". That really bugged me to be honest..but that is life people come people go...people leave a mark, a scar and then they leave before you know it. So this was the case. What happened between us was the past now, we both took our paths and must follow it!. We should thank destiny for making us meet and for the wonderful moments we spared together.

                                               .......................................................

The situation went on a different level when one day I was having a beer at the usual pub down the road, it was me and a few working mates...when Jo came...stopped at our table and asked if we wanted an other round.  That was very nice of him especially when he turned to me and asked "you Hotei?..an other?".
He sat a few tables down and ordered his usual stout,  took out his cigarettes  and a book (white heat if I remember well!). A few minutes later more and more staff joined us, as dinner was over in all of the restaurants of the hotel, tables were joined, first one then an other then a third was added, until five tables were bridged with Jo at the top of one end and me at the other end. Avoiding looking at him was almost impossible, But it was fine, until....Ta Chan showed up pulled a chair from a nearby table and joined the crowd. I don't know why but all of a sudden the noisy bunch turned quiet and every one reached for his drink sort of waiting for some one else to break the silence that was suddenly created!.

"Where is your car? haven't see it for a while now! having trouble with finding Parking?" one of the guys asked Jo, perhaps intending  to break the now graspable  silence!.
"I don't need the car!!" he replied with a smirk, "I have moved in with Ta Chan"
 "really!" everyone replied simultaneously!
"yep!!" ..."You have to move in, if you plan to have children!!".
 I choked on  my beer and almost felt it coming right back up!!. Forced the last half pint down and made up an excuse to leave....

As much as  I tried I could not help not thinking about it, I could not believe what I have heard...Ta Chan was not made that way...what is going on with her?. Or he just said that to mock me?!. He knew how I felt towards her.. even-tough I was in a relationship for two years now... I still felt I loved her...perhaps its what they call first true love!!!.

The next day  I was at the back of house sorting some dry store items. Ta Chan walked by and stopped looking quite embarrassed, "Hotei .....don't believe everything Jo says....he say stupid things when he drinks.....
" I stared at her not quite sure what to say (I could not tell her "yeah!! I know he knows how to be a jerk!" he was her boyfriend after all).
"Its OK...don't worry" I said.
 She looked up at me with a sad looking face, then her sadness turned to a smile wrapped her arms around my waist and whispered "Aishiteru.....". She went away faster then the wind almost running heading to the Japanese restaurant...
I was left puzzled not knowing what to do!
"Wait!" ....I slowly followed her back to the restaurant then stopped.....no I can't do this.....my brains felt like over working did not know what to do....Shall I follow her? or just go back? and forget about what just happened?.....decided to go back.....must let this go once and for all......turned my back and slowly walked back...

The moment I turned my back  Rose opening the back door hitting me straight in the face with it!! "Sorry!!" she shouted..."you OK?" ....
"yes...yes..I'm OK Rose.."  
"Come ...come lets put some ice on that!" she said
 "No ...no I'm fine Rose no need to worry!".....she pulled me inside literally!!.
"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked her...."Today its Tuesday the Thai restaurant is closed!"I added.
"Yeah.....must finish some vegetable carvings by today...so I came in!" she replied while placing a couple of ice cubes on my forehead.
 "ho....cool...can I see?" I said .
 "sure!!!" she smiled, went in to the kitchen where she was sitting on an empty crate carving on some water melons. I always loved to see her doing her carving magic!. I leaned over to take a closer look to the amazingly carved fruit ....but somehow.... ended up held down by Rose...kissing me..shocked as I was I just pushed her away and got out of the kitchen......asking my self how the hell I end up in such situations!.....

Picture provided by google 

Look who's back !

Recap;

Here I am continuing my thought... digging and memory sifting

 just right after the misadventure with the emo guy blog! ...anyway!.      

My last post was
"Dear diary" 
http://anymorethenawhisper.blogspot.com/2012/07/dear-diary.html
 but I will not continue from this post I will go slightly backwards!

 "thunder in blue skies"
 http://anymorethenawhisper.blogspot.com/2012/07/thunder-in-blue-skies.html
I know that much happened in between but I'm sure it be confusing if I keep going ahead. 

~~~~~O~~~~~

A Nasty surprise (look who's back!)

I remember Cassidy and me  where in our second year together, work was getting more and more hectic!. but life was good, I had made a pretty good name among the other staff working in the hotel. One day as I was passing near the cocktail bar I saw a familiar face hidden under a month or more of beard...
Jo ? Is that him? Hoo dear what the hell is he doing here? And what the heck happened to him?. I looked down to the ground and swiftly avoided him....went rushing in the kitchen and there I fund the executive...

"excuse me Chef!, did you see who's in the cocktail bar?" I shouted
"who?" he said
"Jo!! I am sure its him....but what the hell happened to him?! he looks like a tramp!!" I continued
"Hooo yeah ! I know about him! he is suppose to meet the directors...to talk about the new position in the main restaurant!"
"hoo really ??? showing up like that? and after the way he abruptly left?, ho well ...OK then... good luck to him!" I mumbled.

A few days later to the others and my surprise  he started working with  the company again...

News spread  fast like wild fire within the walls of the establishment...I didn't mind to be honest..it was perfectly fine to me unless he talked to me!.

There where days were I had to call down the main kitchen, and he answered the phone, but I had to cope with that...had no choice.

I remember many came to me asking me "is it true that you two don't talk to each other?" "what happened to you?" and many other questions I never answered or at least in full! most of the time my answer would have been,"ask him!!".... I have nothing to say and I don't want to!

"How I wish I could forget the way he treated me..the lies..the pain...He was such a good friend..I trusted him so much....why?..."

Days, weeks and months passed and the festive season were with us again ...Yey!!. Right after New Year's eve dinner  remember I went for a tour around the hotel with Tassu wishing a happy New Year to the other staff on duty....my second target was the Japanese restaurant I wanted to see TaChan and wish her A happy New Year! We kept a close relationship..(what happened a couple of years before was important for the both of us...still is to this day...."somehow").   I pushed  open the back service door,  could hear voices coming from the restaurant, familiar voices I peeped from the pantry door and saw the waitresses tossing a glass of sparkling! Yippee!! I thought... a drink!, just what I need!! I opened the kitchen door that led to the restaurant  door and shouted happy new year!!. Looked on my right and there to my horror saw Him...... Jo ...and Ta Chan having a drink on one of the tables away from the others laughing... joking... flirting . Terry one of the waitresses yelled  "Hotei.... happy New Year" looking at me giving me a soft smile ...most probably knowing what was going on in my head..."happy New Year dear..."  I mumbled, turned my back pushed the door open giving a last stare at Jo and Ta Chan from the corner of my eyes...  Terry and Tassu followed me to the back area calling me "Hotei.....Hotei ! wait! ...wait" grabbed my hand and I looked back at her, confused...not actually sure why ...why I was feeling that bad.....As Terry was about to say something I heard a familiar voice calling my name and a loud door shutting! "Happy New year Hotei!!!"    "Rose!!... hey" ......she grabbed me from my arm and dragged me down the narrow corridor to the Thai restaurant  leaving Terry and Tassu staring at each other not quite knowing what happened!.

Rose Dragged me down the corridor a few metres and halted in front of the Thai restaurant back service door,  as she opened the door I heard a loud " HAPPY NUU YELL" lool it was funny all the Thai kitchen members all a bit drunk tossing whiskey!. "Come dlink!! have a dlink with us!". hehe I'm glad this happened, I'm glad Rose came in at the wrong or perhaps right time, almost dislocating my shoulder as she dragged me down the corridor!,at least for a moment it distracted me and made me smile, I thanked them and left slowly heading back to the next restaurant....gave a big hug to Jessica and off to change I went, better get some sleep must be up in a few hours..have to work lunch too!.

I don't remember sleeping much that night but I felt pretty good and full of energy! I thought about what happened the other night...I acted stupidly...Ta Chan have the right to be happy...after all destiny wanted us apart... although I still loved her deep inside...it was not right on Cassidy....Ta Chan had to carry on with her life .....and I with mine.....but please ...... just not with him please....not with Jo.....

Had no breakfast  but felt like I was not hungry at all!. new years lunch was over and finally I could head back to Cassidy's after three days of not seeing her!! I was feeling exhausted  now,  didn't feel like working dinner but that was part of the job! nothing to do about it!... all I remember is starting the service and then...... black....I could hear the piercing noise of a siren in my head...only opened my eyes founding my self in a white room and people wearing scrubs confused around me...My head hurting like hell.. I focused on the dark shadows around me.... one of them was familiar to me....Cassidy?!... I uttered in a tired voice.....

Working with the Nutty

I have been working for almost a year at the restaurant, and all have become routine!. But I have not forgotten  how cushy this job actually is!. I was the one to complain over a year ago when I was hitting the 80hr a week!!. BRRR! I don't even want to remember about it!.  Compared  the 40hr week is peanuts now!.

One thing I hated about the old job was my supposedly 20 minute drive, that most of the time turned to a 40 minute drive!!. Stuck in a never ending traffic jam cursing each car trying to overtake me! enhancing my blasphemous dictionary!. Not mentioning the parking problem I had to face as soon as I arrived to my destination!. That alone took an other 20 minutes many a time!!!. sigh...

There are a few things I don't like about this job,  but you cant have it all right?.

Once upon a time there lived a nut eating monster...

 I sparked a bit with Mr Crabs the past days!. Had many issues in my head and was at the point of quitting, showing off my middle finger to old dear Mr Crabs!.  The most issue that is fucking me up  is his stingy-ness!!.
The past days we had the "Nuts" saga !!! yeah nuts, those hard shelled fruits, dried seeds thing(ies).    yeah these little fellows here !!

Really!! I am not kidding about it! I know these little fellows come at a price and they are not cheap...but picture this.. apparently  the morning cleaner and the handyman are eating extraordinary amounts of them!. Now let me point this out....we use nuts in a few dishes and dessert....and we keep them in there raw state! so for those who are familiar with these little fellows knows that they are highly un-digestible in raw state and form! so in reality how much they can eat  before they get an indigestion???..... unless they were squirrels   in there past lives...in that case I do understand his fear and point !!!

At one point it was funny till I started receiving messages and emails bout them!! Here are a few examples...

•  Good morning ***** ,

Last Saturday you forgot the pine nuts tub near ******** shelf and the morning staff had their share of it and then when for teh salted peanuts in the bar. Last night you forgot all the nuts in the kitchen, and I cannot take them away now as since they are working in the kitchen.

• *****,

I am upset about the handyman, as now he is attacking the mixed nuts that we use for the nut tart. Please if needs be put them in your locker. I cannot afford to ruin our relationship due to these nuts, however you know how expensive they are.

I am meeting ************ tomorrow morning to finalise his situation, in the meantime I would like to finalise yours  as well.

****

• ***** *******

Desserts nuts were not hidden, however the handyman is not on duty, he is working on TUESDAY!!!!

Got my point ? and these are just a few messages I have received regarding the above mentioned NUTS! Our love hate relation ship went on a different levels when I sketched   Mr Crabs holding his beloved nuts and saying "leave my nuts alone!!"  I found it funny.... apparently he did not!...

 Yet an other message.....

Driving to the lair of the nut eating monster...

You know working in a city with grey buildings and busy roads is pretty depressing in my opinion...one thing I love bout my working place is the short drive I take trough the countryside... except for the rude truck drivers but that is an other story!!

Yep that's right Mr Crabs lives up there....Its where the nut events are taking place where a nasty handyman is feeding on unattended nuts.....

Care must be taken!! .... the way is infested with traps one must be aware of them!!!...

Then down the valley I go!!! with its mystical character and gigantic doorways that lead to nowhere... I think....or they do?









                                           Protecting the door to his lair....a              
                                                           scary...terrible...meowing.....
                                                                                 creature......

   

    The End .....

                                                                ....or not?....

Pictures provided by google images 

Other pictures by Hotei

on the edge of insanity...

Driving to work after hours of work on a non finished menu ...switching on the CD on high volume so that  I can almost not hear me think.......

.......must snap out of it !....can't afford to put the standard down...working is getting near impossible  with only two chefs in the kitchen (me included!!) the restaurant is busy as hell!! had over 650 people booked in a week ! My feet are refusing to carry the weight of my body any more. Feel like giving up already! Have completely forgot how it feels to have such responsibility!. Mr Crabs constant whining about how bad the financial situation  is...... not of any help at all ...especially after feeding a mear 115 guests in just one evening!!!   And you wonder why does he keep running this business in the first place?! if doing such a service is not leaving any profit!!.

The most thing that is getting to me is the fact that I am constantly bombarded by emails and calls!. The other chef had half the situation sorted as I carried out half the chores of the day....now I have to struggle to do them on my own!. And besides just 2 weeks ago we where 4 working in the kitchen! now we are just two! And to put the cherry on the cake Mr STINGY wont place an advert on the paper as it will cost money!! so he rather jeopardise the standard of the food  then his pocket!!!    This is what I find completely ridiculous and stupid!. So why Mr crabs cant see that?. I wanted so much this... now I'm cursing the moment I have accepted...now I took a road and its hard to go back not after just a week I will loose credibility! I know... if I put my mind to it I can do it, after all I have been doing this for a decade now! but somehow I cant concentrate on anything!. I feel like going to battle without a strategy, and I freeze as the enemy is n sight!. I was the one known for never panicking in any situation....I always kept cool and calm in the most pressured  situations....now for the first time it is getting to me! not sure if I can take this any longer.....   Now off to feed  an other 120...

Missing Tory's Birthday tonight wish I could be there but duty is calling.....Missing a lot actually!!! Its is almost impossible to believe how much my life changed in just 2 weeks, had no day off for 2 weeks.... had to say goodbye to my morning swim....had to say goodbye to my hobbies....sigh...Lets think positive things will get better soon!.

Back to the fast lane

Run, Run, Run! back to the fast lane ! I have completely forgot how it feels to be in it! I somehow love it I somehow hate it! I love the fact to be part of a  tight laced team (well it was until one resigned >< ).... anyway.. and I hate the fact that I don't have much time for me!.

Had many things planed, but now with the new menu planning and all had to postpone them to later on!. So my apologies to you listeners of Whispers!. Hope I finish most of the work soon and be back to you! Mr crabs permitting :P I simply don't like the man at all! but what can I do he's my boss, and the business is his!

So I finish this cup of coffee and carry on !

                                                   Pictures provided by tumblr