Any More Than A Whisper

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

On my bed where I dream...

Here safe in my bed...here I lay...here I rest...here I dream.....

Here I am! still in bed...9:39am in the morning somehow cant get out of bed...lappy on my belly ....already had my second espresso this morning...but I still cant feel like I'm wide awake....I'm running low on coffee, must go out and buy, but some how I don't feel like to..

Not having my early morning swim this morning , some how I don't feel like it..just feel like to linger in my bed...Sweet memories of a dream that seamed to real, somehow I can smell your scent...I know its just in my head, but I want to believe I do...if I close my eyes I can still see your smile ...if I close my eyes...if I do ...I drift far away... wish I could sleep again may be we'll meet again...

Many times I wondered how your skin feels...many times I wondered how your lips may taste...

Taste....feel...touch....scent....these are the senses I am denied...only if I close my eyes I am allowed to borrow, just for a few moments...just for a few moments... while I dream....while I rest my head on the pillow and look in the box....

Feels safe here in my bed, away from the busy world out there... My phone is ringing again I think its the fifth time this morning..don't feel like picking it up.. but I must....the real world is calling....

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

One wise woman

This is what a very wise woman has told me..

"There's always a positive intention in every behaviour...."

People act in weird ways, sometimes we don't understand the motivation, sometimes there isn't any at all...or there is? When I was little my mother sometimes scolded me..but I saw the world from the eyes of a child, I never understood the motivation of that scolding. Only when I started to mature I slowly realised what she meant.

Sometimes we become dependent on something or someone that from our point of view we just can't do without!. Lets create a situation.....two siblings one age 15 and the other 9, the young one will want to have protection from his older brother, but the more the young boy is protected the more he is trapped in this "bubble" and will not learn to fend for himself as he grow, making it more difficult for him in the future when the older brother will be away.

Its when we are on our own and scared that we attempt to fly, we might fall and hit the ground, but that is how we overcome our fears...

Sometimes close friends leave us alone when we think we most need them...and we start doubting how much they really value friendship!.

Think again "There's always a positive intention in every behaviour" .......snap out of the virtual world...there is much more within your reach!.

God!! this really doesn't sound like me! but hey, I have a serious side too! Yet again, I hope the message gets trough...I tend to be confusing at times..but got so much in my head that I want to share and sometimes I don,t know were to start from!.

Here is an other example of positive intention, this is taken from a chat between two people.

"Its a very twisted conversation so bare with it!"

HER~ told u there's always a positive intention in every behaviour
HER~its just like judging a very fat girl that she spends most of her time eating.. or like eating like a pig
HER~but what we don't know.. she almost kill herself to death working out and trying to lose some weight..
HIM~ hum ....
HIM~ ok ...
HIM~ i do believe there is a positive intention in ppls acts
HER~hahaha
HER~ sounds better.. LOL
HER~ so how d u explain maniacs?
HER~ psycho killers?
HER~ bank robbers?
HER~ :D
HIM~ they need the money
HIM~ and a trill in there lives
HIM~ it makes them feel better
HIM~so there you have it a positive intention !
HIM~ :P
HER~ hahahaha
HER~nice...
HIM~ :P

Sunday, 26 August 2012

In 24 hours

In 24 hours I be waiting....
In 24 hours you be back...

My life could change in 24 hours ...my life could be just the same in 24 hours....

I thought that having time alone would clear my mind ... I thought that if we are apart for some time it would change my mind....

Truth is, that I don't feel the same..some how I'm even more lost, some how I want you to be here, now!. For almost 15 days I never missed you..or at least I thought that I did not!. Now that only 24 hours are keeping us apart I just can't wait...24 hours is a long time to wait..

Although I hated the way I was treated the past months, I know now that I cant be torn away from you..I just feel half alive without you.. now that 24 keep us apart...

"It is never to late to change your mind, its never to late to wash sins away, its never to late to come to life again"

I never thought I could find a way to describe it...it was there inside ...hiding. I was just to afraid to face it. Now that 24 hours are between us I just can't go back...

Run ...run ....run away from it all, may be I could find a way ....wrong ......I was so wrong ....running is never the option, running is denying to face the truth....the key is you....you are the keeper of the key to my hard heart ....the truth was always there...

-------O-------

Destiny keeps on calling my name, over and over in my head. Sometimes I hate it....its just to much to take, this small brain can't handle it.

"To love ....not to love...

so what to do?"

"is it love....is it not love....

so what's this?"

"I have never misused the word love, whenever I uttered the word love I meant it".

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Erased...

If there is something I really love to do for my self, and that makes me feel good is to swim. And I am lucky enough to live relatively close to the sea.

Drove all the way to my favourite spot, lately it have been not an popular option for many, since last winter many of the caves surrounding the lagoon collapsed due to the strong weather making extremely difficult to access!. A bonus for me to have some quality time with my own self.

The colours of the waters are just enchanting...and today it have been especially clear, I could see clearly from the emerald green to the sapphire blue shimmering under the sun. I really needed to feel the cold water over my skin again it somehow makes me feel alive....it some how washed away what it have been building up in my mind for the past few days.

Unfortunately it was soon time for me to leave had to be at work in a few hours time!.

Walked all the way to the restaurant...the streets were deserted, the heat has been unbearable the past days and today was not an exception. I was the first one to open the restaurant yet again! as I walked to the bar to collect the booking diary, my attention was caught by the oil paintings on the wall, the kitchen staff always made fun of them, saying they had a non artistic element in them...

But did we ever stopped and looked closely at them?. What the artist meant was the freedom of one's spirit and soul. She represented her self as the elements Air, Water, Earth and Fire.

One painting that made me think was the smallest one, with the theme of fire.....

"Erased memories"