"Noblesse oblige"

For you that once told me rock music was loud and noisy and it has nothing to do with classical music. 

We shared much in common.

Today I lost a big friend ....lost a part of me ...

my stubbornness made me lose you ...

"will miss your smile"

It will haunt me for all my life 

Reached out for my phone again for the 100 time!, 4am , 4:15am , 5am ....
somehow I cant sleep....its been a tough night ...
.noblesse oblige you once told me ....yet again I tasted the salty taste on my lips ....
5:05am , 5:15am ...sleep!! I need seep must be up early ...have got an appointment early in the morning ...
dad sad my brother should be coming too ..
I can already see the faint light of the rising sun through my bedroom window ...somehow I faded ................I somehow felt asleep ...must be the long day ...work was very busy yet again .....I opened my eyes again reached again for my phone 5:59am I sat up on my bed ....
Wanted to reach for my lap top, write down what an awful night it was I wanted, I need  to get it off my chest!! .....
It was far more painful as I thought it be! ...Noblesse oblige...
will my laptop still be working....after the tear shower I gave it last night?
....last night..... it have barely been 4 hours since I sad goodbye....reached out  for my laptop as it was on the side table....
My phone beeped a message ..its Gwanni!! wanted to see how I feel after that awful night ....
left the lap top where it was ....stood up searched the floor for my slippers in almost complete darkness I don't want to open my room to the sun this morning  the sun will hurt my eyes.....noblesse oblige....
A coffee I really need as strong one ...hit the walls a few times as I walked to the kitchen .....made my self a double espresso, then brother came and asked for one too ...I did it without whispering a word .....went back to my room locked the door, layed down on my bed again ...a phone call, it was Cassidy just to remind me I had to be up !! placed down my phone next to me on my bed ...then . reached for the phone again ... replied   back to Gwanni .....

"what the mind think its good... its not always good for the heart!!" 

Put on shorts, and a T shirt ...grrr have to pick up the carpenter ...called dad ..asked him if he could pick him up for me ..... I wanted to talk to no one ....too shocked, angry and scared for what happened now a few hours ago ... 

Noblesse oblige .....drove to my apartment... opened the door ..... started opening all the windows ...air I need air!!
 went out into the veranda looked out into the valley...the trees have grown, yes they did....the tops are higher then last year .....
looked up to the sky ..clear not even one cloud .....this silence is driving me mad!! looked down picked up a pebble .... threw it out of the balcony of the veranda...picked an other ....squeezed it tight in the palm of my hand....draw  a few doodles on the wall ..."Hotei" I hear a voice calling ......It was my eldest brother .. wiped of the doodles with my own hand tried to remove the trail of dust left ....I wished to cry yet again .....

Cassidy came..she looked at me...she knew something was not right, but she said no word.... until I said good-morning and answered me back with a smile.......  

I have found no name for you yet, ..this happened to soon, far to soon, my journal is far from complete !!! I wished for this day never to come... never to happen but it did!! 

Noblesse oblige!!! remember you told me once?.....Noblesse oblige....

Happy Sunday

The Ginger Root !

The ginger root is a tropical plant, it is used in the kitchen as for medicational purposes, its most known actions are warming, antispasmodic, anti-enetic and circulatory stimulant!!. also it is used for chills, nausea and colds. 

Tassu loved his tea, and I also love it since I was grown in a very British culture like country. 

This is a tea made by Tassu!! it is very good for colds 

and it is very tasty too! 

You will need!!

tea ( earl grey, green or normal English breakfast are good)

2 to 3 thin slices of ginger (fresh)

1 spring or about 10 leafs of fresh mint 

tea spoon of honey (or demarera sugar)

place all the above in a tea pot!!

poor boiling water into the pot!!

let it brew for 4 or 5 minutes!!

and serve!!

Easy huh ?

This is good served cold or warm !

enjoy 

Don't forget to strain!!! 

Happy Sunday :)

Keeping the boat afloat!

Nigel was gone ...there was no one to replace him ....I passed day after day regretting the fact that I haven't left with Vince when he asked me to....but greedy me, I saw the money! A mercenary ....that what Vince called me!, he was right!!. I wanted to resign there and then ..and escape from all the hassle!!

Then I saw true friendship materializing  in front of my eyes!!.
 Many came to see how I was doing, while others gave a helping hand during there break time....I appreciated a lot there gesture and never forget that!!. For two whole weeks I worked virtually alone!. day after day, night after night!!
 One day as I was having a cup of coffee with chef in the restaurant I said .."how on earth we can't find a replacement!?" then I continued " can I make a proposal?" yes he said ..."what about Tassu?  I could train him! I take full responsibility for  him"
Tassu was from India, and had worked with me more or less four years, he was our pantry guy...and since Nigel left he helped me out on daily basis!. "are you sure of what you are saying?" chef said "Christmas is due in three months!! will you make it?". "Its working with him ...or no one from the way things are working out!!" I exclaimed!!." I'll take the gamble!!!"

I reached for my phone and called Tassu....told him that where ever he is, he must run!! run, to the restaurant!!
hehehe poor Tassu he came in about 15 minutes! breathless and sweaty !!! He accepted the offer chef made him, and started his training on the day!!. 

I admit days came where I had regretted the day!! and many times I looked up to the ceiling calling my self an idiot!!! what the hell got into you? why not train Tassu!!! whoooo its better then noting!!.Stupid, Stupid Hotei!!  

But, it did pay in the end, he improved overnight and executed most of the jobs perfectly ^^ ......"almost"  --" 

especially when it came to the dessert bit ......thanks God that the critic never showed up again and ordered the cream caramel!! God how many times I opened the oven and found scrambled eggs instead of custard!! sigh...

Tassu and me worked for over three years together had many ups and downs!..it was a bumpy adventure but I enjoyed the ride !! 

once upon a time

fighting witches, dragons and monsters...  

When I was a kid mum used to read me stories till I fall asleep, How much I loved to listen of far, far away lands and castles. and then dragged  to a world where I would create my own story, it was my dream world, I could be whoever I wanted to be!! how warm and safe.... I felt, invincible!! 
It was all perfect ..and ended up always with  a happy ever after...

I grew up and I stopped believing in fairy tales and especially in happily ever afters .

Trough the looking glass...

Did you ever look closely to a fairy tale? Is it always easy to reach the last page and read happily ever after?

Lets take in consideration sleeping beauty....she was an 18 year old young woman and had it all ....rich, beautiful and had all every living person could ever imagine...but she was curious she touched the needle of a wooving machine and falled in a deep sleep for 100 years! The prince had to go trough thorns and fight the witch, to achieve his and hers happy ending. This is a bit of a selfish story really....the princes had it her way and she didn't do big deals, she was priviladged ....all froze for 100 years she never aged a day since she pierced  her finger tip (she even didn't have time to put her Q10 cream before going to bed!!....and still looked amazing!!!!) and at the end of the day she ended up with a young prince! way to young!! at least a 100 years!!.....(lucky bitch huh!!!  :P ).

Little red riding hood !! She  had a tough one!!! she just disobeyed her mum for a few minutes and it all ended in disaster, the bad wolf ate grandma and her too!! Thanks god there was a hunter passing by ...(she wouldn't be this lucky now a days with all these (EU) laws against hunting.....)

One that never had it her way was the poor little mermaid!! The young princes of the deep ocean ..felt in love with a man that was not of her kind not of her world!! he was brought up and lived in a different environment!! (Its like a girl meeting a rock star we would say these days!!) She gave up the most precious thing she possessed her voice!! She gave it to the evil Medusa!! In exchange of feet!. She even saved her loved one from drowning! In the end the prince choose the evil Medusa..... and the poor mermaid melted away becoming foam in the ocean.....sad, sad ending....Life can be sad yes...but there is a moral here, the mermaid sacrificed all!, she did what was against her nature and battled against all odds!! She was a true life pioneer, she never gave up! even if in the end she didn't have it her way, she had no regrets that she never gave life a shot!... 

Others ..change....like snow white. Snow white, she was an "innocent" creature that had to escape from her evil stepmother to save her life! She met seven new friends and a prince in the mean time, got married to the handsome prince in the end too!. She played the role of the victim, and later engaged the role of the villain!! she let hatred grow deep inside her and gave her stepmother a harsh payback!  On her wedding day snow white, made her stepmother wear red hot iron shoes! and made her dance till she dropped dead!! Is the good you ask? No I don't think so but we can take the moral out of this too ...that no matter how bad the circumstances may look we don't have to alter who we really are! We don't have to turn to a selfish, self-centred person!. No matter what the other person did to us, a bad action wont turn an other bad action right!!

Life can be harsh my dear, But you know what? life is beautiful there is always something happening! like we are writing our own fairytale! In fairy tales many possessed mystical weapons and powers and made there life journey more easy, we too have special powers like them...perhaps less "loud", we too meet new characters that give colour to our lives!. Some make us stronger while others makes us sad...but if we look closely from the looking glass we will find positiveness in things that we might have thought where just "normal" or not worth  our attention... 

I am a believer in fairy tales! I am writing my own now! as I meet new characters every day! A powerful wizard and a beautiful princes....... I am using mystical powers like "flying words" they travel from one side to the world to an other in seconds! Impressive huh? ^^

Now tell me... have I done the right ting? where fairy tales just fictional stories? 
if you thought they were just fictional think again!!

Go on ...don't fear .....grab your wooden sword and fight that dragon....as much big and monstrous it may look, it must have a weak point ....we just have to find it .....

A salt crystal named Hotei

Writing... 

Writing is not easy...to write, to put your self on paper or in the case in "data" it is not easy task at all. There are barriers of all sorts like language in my case, although English is my second language I find it harder to express my emotions to the best.So it becomes harder for the reader to understand truly what I want to mean and what I feel. I consider my self as a computer illiterate and I learnt by lots of help and sleepless nights with my bro Gwanni :) . Then there is time, I have a time limit of how or when I write.

Late at night after work, I come home, I try to place an other piece of the puzzle in its rightful place. But I get easily tired at that hour!. Or else early in the morning while having a coffee. I know there will be time ( very soon ) were I will not be able to write. Or to post so frequently, so far I posted almost every day, some days I posted 2 or 3 times!, I'm proud of what I have achieved it was a big ting for me to share my thoughts.  

Knowing that I will have restrictions to write  makes me a little sad, I love to write,  I imagine my mind filled with tiny crystals of salt and each salt crystal is a memory or a thought,  and every time I immerse my self in this pond the salt melts away....and I feel lighter....and cleaner.