Happiness is...

"A man. His life, a story so familiar to you and everyone else you know. Us. Constantly in  search  for this thing called happiness".

                                  The quest. Happiness. It takes a lifetime to conquer or perhaps one never truly finds it because one never learns how to understand it. Perhaps it is found in the most insignificant things that we never bother to give importance to.

Guess its hard to describe, guess its not easy to understand. Guess its not right to chase it down. It will come in its own time and place. One thing I have learned over the years, is that as much as we run, as much as we force things to happen, if they were not meant to happen they will not... as simple as that!. They will happen in the time they were meant to happen no matter what we do. One must let time do its own course, forcing will only make the wait more painful at least this is how I think it works, I might be wrong but its how I see it.

Happiness. How to: it is more easy then its seams. Happiness is found in a million forms shapes and sizes.

Happiness is in my opinion the simplest of feelings, the most clear, yet we so find it hard to recognise it.

...A late night talk to a friend.

     ...The rain falling in your hands.

         ...Inspiring someone.

             ...Finding someone as weird as you.

                 ...Being the reasons for someones happiness.

                     ...Falling in love with your best friend.

                          ...A purring cat.

                              ...A warm smile of a lover or a friend.

 ..Happiness can be all that you want it to be. 

Simply believe.. 

...it is easy as a pie. 

Picture by Hotei  

Time.

It is the most abundant thing we have and yet we can never have enough of it. We are constantly loosing it but we never really realise. It is the most precious thing one can own but we never value it and we constantly waste it away... 

It was another morning, like many others I lived, like many have come and simply flew away without me noticing or caring that they went by. Yet this morning my mind, thoughts and eyes worked in harmony with each other. They played the most beautiful melody, yet it saddened the heart. I had that sunken feeling that something was to happen. I could not quite grasp the feeling even though I tried to understand. Then like many other times it slowly made sense, it slowly came to me, slowly the colours became more vivid, and yet again I was drawn into my secret world, the secret world of my mind. There where colours are bright there where sound does not exist, it exists only the sound of my thoughts, that from soft, hush murmurs become loud clear voices.

How I could have done this to me?... how did I let my self do this? I thought. Then I realised that every one must think the same way I do, this is one thing we all might agree on, we all have wasted time, we all have one time or another disrespected this precious gift. How many times we thought, promised, vowed and sworn that we would never ever again loose or waste it, yet every time we fail from keeping the solemn oath.

As I look out of my window and see the autumn wind steal the leaves from the tree branches with every blow carrying with it stories and with each blow it pushes summer away bringing new hopes for a new life, bringing new memories as this year will soon take its last breath. This is a familiar sight to me, sweet yet melancholic. It draws me back violently to reality, but I hold fragments from the world I been in. Then I look into myself searching for these fragments and see the promises I did not keep. How many times I told myself, "Never make promises you cant keep" yet every time I arrogantly break this rule. I arrogantly throw and waste this gift we call time.


Once more I make a promise, a promise I am giving my word on, a promise that I will do my utmost to keep. By next autumn before the last leave falls before winter makes itself feel....the words I gave the hopes I build and promises I made, I will keep... I know sacrifice must be done, I know it will not be easy, I know its a fight against time, but for this time I so profoundly now value its gift - I will keep what today I sworn my love.

Picture by Hotei 

 

Brand New

It was not you, not the person I know, somehow you looked different, somehow you looked lost. Your eyes seamed to be drained from the life they used to transmit. Somehow I can feel your pain, and somehow I wish I had words to comfort you. Silence ruled where once laid laughs, stillness where once there was life.

Tonight We'll dance,

Tonight we'll drink

Tonight you'll sing,

Tonight you'll forget.

Forget what it have been said, tonight its the night to erase. I know how hard it was to pick up your mask, long it have been since you last wore your emotionless veil. Behind that porcelain mask, emotions go trough, the mask can hide, but not your glassy eyes.

Pick up your shards, 

Tonight you'll heal,

Show the world that you are not afraid,

As human feel when hearts are chipped. 

Trapped in the moment between being awake neither asleep, confusing the two... when you realise that you are asleep you force more your eyes to shut, for you find it safe to be there. But dear this is not a dream, and I'm afraid the time for you to open your eyes has come.

Tonight you'll sing,

Tonight you'll dance.

Tonight you'll sleep,

 To wake to a new dawn.

Your world was build for him, your world was "he". Perhaps an illusion a fickle dream, like a child you wished it to be real, but in this life dreams tear. and we'll ask why do we have to wake?... But why deny your feelings tonight, why hide behind your still mask?. Don't be afraid of what lays ahead, don't sob your actions, stop this mourning pain you hold to, as tonight your brand new. Don't look for answers in others heart beat as not everybody's heart beat the same.

Tonight forget the pain tonight forget the tears,

Tonight your unchained tonight your brand new.

My world is only you,

My world is new without you.

Picture by tumblr

Feet in the sand

The wind blew strong yesterday somehow, somewhat coldish, its just like winter still wants to linger a bit longer here. The clouds hid the sun from us giving us only a glimpse of sunshine.  Still this did not stop us from meeting and yet again watch another sunset...

 

Everyday is a bonus, she mumbled to me again while dipping for the first time this year our feet in the cold waters. I wrapped myself warm in my blue cardigan, holding to it as the wind blew strong almost making us tumble. "come on! its not that cold" she said with a smirk on her face, she knows us islanders can't stand the cold. Thinking that last June we were already bathing in the same waters, and today we were shivering by just standing there looking at the mighty waves.  Looked back at Cassidy sitting on the sand all wrapped up trying to trap any heat wanting to escape trough the plastic cup that she was tightly holding in the palm of her hands. She gave us a grin and waved back to us.

"I'm so pleased I can be still here with you, this is what makes me go on, fighting time, making the most of the little I have left". What an amazing woman she is I thought, grateful for every breath she takes. I want to grow old just like her, holding no regrets, just memories dear to me, with the people I love and making the most while they are still here.

Walked along the beach already crowded with people trying to make the most of the little sun that escaped trough the cloudy sky. We made it next to Cassidy and shared a few smiles and a few chocolates snapping a few last shots to capture the beauty within that windy day, shared with people dear to me.

Left the beach with the promise to come back soon, to share more memories and even more smiles. It would have not been a complete day if not ended with a sunset. Watched it from home..our home..having tea with a soft whisper of a breeze promising  that summer will be here soon...

Pictures by Hotei ©

Sail me to shore

Katie Melua - If You Were A Sailboat

Last year this time we were planing how our life would have change in a year or so. Much have changed but we are still far from the goals we've set, far yet so close...

Guess all we have to do is to keep believing in the dreams we shared, we still share them after all. One day soon...very soon I hope... will become a reality.

Last year this time we walked down a sandy beach while the cool wind from the sea caressed our faces warmed by the soft sun of May. Our heart beating fast like a steam engine trying to catch up our breath  as we reached the shore...and feel the cold waters upon our feet. 

I remember it all as if it was only yesterday. Spent hours looking at a sailing boat gently rocking in the sea. And  we wondered how it would feel to be a sail-boat and wander from shore to shore. Wouldn't it be lovely?...

I remember the cold waters on our naked feet as we ran all the way back acting like kids again, or perhaps cause I fell in love again in that very moment...and yet again time seemed to have stopped. 

Thought it would have been a day just like every other ordinary day..walking silently along the sea hand in hand, perhaps...not uttering any word, letting a smile..a smirk transmit our feelings. 

Wouldn't it be lovely...if we could sit again on the same moist red sand sharing the beach with no one. And wouldn't it be lovely to find again the memories we left behind...I dearly keep these images of us, the beach, and that calm sail-boat almost enchanting on that perfect day. 

If you were a sail-boat I'll sail you to the same safe shore, I'll sail you safe through the storms. Not afraid of the high waves and the violent winds as they will blow me to this enchanted place, making me forget what we have just been through. I don't mind as long I'll have you. 

We soon had to go, the day got fast short, and we were no longer alone. But just before we turned our back, a last stare,  waved goodbye to that sail-boat promised we be back again to that very same shore, perhaps on another perfect day... 

For the words I never say, the feelings many times I don't show.

Bust just because I don't shout them out to the entire world it doesn't mean I don't love you... 

Thank you my love for reading my mind and understanding me even if many times my lips don't let out the words you expect to hear...

Pictures by Hotei 

Lyrics & music Katie Melua 

Speak my mind...

If I think what to say about all of my stories my answer would be that I haven't got a clue really. All of this happened just slightly over a year ago I know, but it feels like my mind is trying to erase every last residue of memory left behind. If I try to remember what I felt all I can think and feel is a bitter-sweet feeling deep inside my chest. It kind of makes me smile now that is all passed...passed, yes... but not completely forgotten, how can one ever forget his emotions? they might not be very clear but you cant really remove them.

Many times I try to put the blame on him, but then again I know that "it takes two to tango". I let him do this to me only cause I let him do it to me. I feel a bit upset and perhaps a bit angry only for the lies that later came, for deceiving me, for breaking me and for playing a rough game with my mind. I believe that one persons heart can break many times but yet it finds ways to mend its self, but one persons mind is far more difficult to fix.

You know..it is even more painful when I think how much I have changed, how much pain I caused to the one that remained standing by my side all this time. The one that always loved me for what I was and for what I am. Must add she might have hid her feelings many times, many times I felt like I was taken for granted, that I would have always be there, and perhaps she never realised that some of her words could have been felt like a blunt dagger trying to find way trough my flesh. I have not helped the situation ether with my stubbornness nor with my attitude. But I never seized to love her, of that I am sure. I might have not sown it, but I always did.

I must admit that it was not easy to walk away, to find the courage to pick up all of the pieces and carry on. And I would have not done it if I did not receive help when needed, I was lucky to find someone to stop me when I was about to commit stupid actions. And for a man to admit he was wrong many times feels like the greatest challenge.

If you asked me how I feel now or if still have feelings for Guga the answer is easy. I do miss the person, the human in his crudity, but it feel stupid now to say. This was a chapter that it was meant to happen to help me understand more my self and how important the persons in my life are. I moved on but never forgotten the way I came, it was long... it was not easy, but it was needed as I believe all happens for a reason.

Slowly the wound left behind healed, yet the scar is still visible, but I proudly show it as I am now not afraid to show... to show my weakness, actually I feel almost brave and mature to share my story. It is never easy to speak my mind freely, it never is, as the smallest of my memories unleash bigger emotions now buried deep inside me...

Pictures by tumblr 

Fragile

"Fragile..... we are so fragile I know its a bit (cliché) but we are like candles in the wind , sometimes we try to hold on to this life, fight for our life.....but at the end of the day  we are just so fragile..".

Look at the cliffs near the sea, big and strong but with each wave; sometimes gentle... sometimes furious it  eats them away. I don't want to be eaten away by the waves that are hitting my shores. I see life unfolding before my eyes and I feel helpless, I can't stop time...but I can live in this time, I can try and make something out of it...I say every day ..every extra day we get is a bonus so might as well not waist it and live,  make the most out of it...ohh yes the most ...not less. Learn from yesterdays mistakes it will prepare us for tomorrow's.

Pawns in the hand of destiny are we?. In this life we meet people of all sorts of shapes and sized every one made in its special way, everyone with his or her characteristic some good others less...
I have always tried to live good live and let live always have been my motto... but there were times that I did forget this idealism and turned, changed to someone I did not know...

That is what happened to me after the long  tiring battle for life..I could not take one more thing I blamed it on everything including myself  instead of fighting it back I surrendered to it... raised a white flag. What made me go on was her, the look in her eyes...the fact that no matter what happened she kept strong even tough she new nothing was going to be the same any more. Destiny blocked this road? screw it we go around it!.   I would not be the man I would be today if it was not for you, I many times don't show and many times ignore the call of you...many times you been patient even if you had the right and reason not to be. For that I am grateful. Even the choices I'v made I learnt not to regret try.... not to at least.


Dear life, 
When sometimes I'm alone I wonder how funny this life is...every time we need something or someone...and we make a call from deep within our soul...our call for help is heard.... a shoulder on the west..... a warm smile and a beating heart to the east ... strength from across the ocean .......and support  from the north...
                                                                              ...yours Hotei.


I'm not afraid to be fragile as its a sign I have feelings...

The Sun and the Moon

Long time ago when the earth was still young  and when  faeries, elves and Gods still existed, the time when humans were peaceful creatures ... Far away behind the great mountains, high up in the skies  there lived a young God,  his duty was to carry  the sun across the sky in his golden chart. He never complained, it was his duty without him darkness would prevail without him  the rye would not grow in the fields,  ...life would not exist!.
Everyday he looked down to earth and watched the peaceful inhabitants waking up to the rising sun...doing there chores and daily work as the sun approached the highest of its peek...and saw  them returning to there homes as he approached the end of his cycle..... he wondered what it feels like to be like one of them ....he wished and prayed to be just like them...but he had to  keep the sun going across the heavens he had to keep the balance between day and night...that was his duty...without the sun the inhabitants would not wake up...or go to do there errands and chores. he had to keep the balance that reigned on earth that was his destiny.

One day as he looked down to earth he noticed a young man and a young woman crossing the woods and rested under an old oak tree and wondered what and why they were so far from the others...the next day he noticed them again...and again...and again ...it happened every day  for days, weeks and months...the young God watched over the two lovers every single day...he smiled and shined upon them in the cold winter(y) days to keep them warm....and hid the sun rays in the leaves of the old oak tree in summer...where they rested. He now learnt to love....the two lovers where now his friends and made time non existent to him, he was now happy to wake up and start his daily cycle, just to be able to watch over his friends.

He was happy to be able to love some one, but the truth....did they love him back? did they know he existed? he could just watch over them nothing more. The young God deep inside his core envied the two..he wished with all of his heart that he could meet some one and talk....some one to share, some one to listen to him and he listening to her just like the two lovers did. But no one would dare get close to him...he was high in the sky and the inhabitants would never get any near... and besides the sun was to hot it could kill them....the young God was to far to reach!..... He had the earth and life upon it way down below, and the stars high above him, they too where just to far to listen to him. Poor God of the sun he could watch every single living creature form high above and they could look up to him in his mighty glory, but he was lonely... Even the young couple that he cherished so much grew old and eventually died  as the years passed. He felt that he was even more lonely now that they were gone, he shed tears cold as ice that turned into steam as they touched the fire(y) sun, staining it with black spots dark as the night like tar.

"What is wrong?" the father of all Gods asked,
"why are you crying my son?" smiling at the young God of the sun.

The young god looked up at him and replied "I might be mighty and beautiful, strong and powerful, but it gets lonely  to be up here all alone staring to the world while life unfolds  before my eyes, they need me and I love to help the creature on earth, I wake them up, I warm them up, I make the rye grow in the fields, I shine my love to them...but why no one can love me back?".

The old father of all Gods smiled at him, and softly said, "My son, I have created all of the gods to keep balance on earth to keep seasons on time to look after every living creatures and keep harmony on this beautiful world, but even Gods make mistakes....I forgot to look after my children..."

The old God shed a tear shiny as the stars pure as silver and with it created a sphere he called it Moon.  Then he reached for the elements he kept in his pocket, collected star dust from the heavens and blew life into it...he gave life to a Goddess he named Luna.
He smiled at the young god of the sun and said, "My son you shall not be lonely any more in the sky, she will accompany you trough your cycle....but remember your duty, your duty and destiny you are the king of the day and barer of fire .....and she...she is the Queen of the night barer of ice. Together you shall rule the sky and keep balance, none of you shall interfere with the others duty".

He smiled again and continued "My son you'll see Luna every day across the heavens but you will touch her only on the days I will call eclipse, on these special days it will be nor day or night....but remember balance shall be kept the night must fall and the day must rise"  

And for generations after generations that is what happened, every single day the two met in heaven, now even the night was not too dark any more, there was the silvery reflection of the beautiful moon to give light.

On the day the Old God called eclipse the two embraced each other making the sun almost fade and the moon almost melt as they cycled, making love,showing love....  just for a few moments. the both smiled as they collided the light from the sun and the brilliance of the moon, none of them victorious! as both overwhelmed the other....it was then when the inhabitants noticed as they looked up to the sky how important the sun is and how lucky they are to have it! now they had a gift too, the gift of the moon, to watch over them, and break the darkness of the night.  

When I was little I used to write stories down on paper, I remember I loved to do so..still do!   
This story was in my head for ages, I would like to share it with you...
I will leave it to open interpretation....

                                                                          Pictures provided by tumblr and google images      

thoughts

Collecting the essentials

the most valuable

Moments  

~~~

Hold to it 

don't let it go 

take the most of it while you can 

~~~

I'm a collector 

of 

Dreams 

Moments 

Memories

I treasure 

you 

...

                                                                       pictures provided by tumblr

Grown ups need hugs too

 I am back, and ready to share it all again... had to put down my blog for almost a month but now I'm back!! 

It have been a hectic month.. I have been trough a lot these past weeks....I was in denial more then one time....my thanks must go to those who supported me ...Thank you   :)



It all started when Cassidy went on a holiday, I could not be with her cause of  work, in a way,  I was happy, I needed time to clear my mind, I needed "me me time" . I cant recall when  I had two weeks on my own, although it felt awkward not to be with her, somehow I felt it was a good opportunity to discover more my self,  having more time to think.I must admit that at one point in time my brains over worked and almost bursted  for over working them!.here I have to thank my friend Tory...

.....Tory....you perhaps saw a new side of me that you didn't know it could exist. I really needed to let it all out and you were there to listen to me....to my nonsense ..to my whining to my cries!. Thanks for letting my feelings speak, and understanding. I will never ever forget what you have done!, ...and how I could forget the splitting headache that I woke up with the day after we talked? all that amaretto!!! :D. Thanks for distracting me from me!. You somehow knew what I was in need of....

Loved the hairy pussy shave, I found it quite stress relieving. Loved feeding the tiny kittens too!. Loved the board game in the evening, even if I was pitiful!, I was pretty sure it was miss Scarlet!!!  

For I am not the one

You can be trained for the unexpected but when it happens you are really never prepared. A goodbye will always be hard even if you have been expecting it. I hate the word goodbye, I am more a "see you" person. Goodbye sounds like an indefinite amount of time.... 


I have this stuck in my head, I must drain it, here I am still in my swimming trunks still moist to the touch, draining my thoughts, my feelings...I must do it I can't wait, for the night to fall to write.

You might not realise how important to me you are, you can't imagine the agonising feeling in my chest, trying to act like nothing happened. You have give me all that you are and all that you had, I was too scared to hold you here. Now I'm afraid you see the monster that I can become. Angel of mine I can still feel the Goosebumps over my skin as you asked me to leave...I knew the day would come but never this soon...I hate it, I really hate it. But if this is for the best, if this will be of any help to you. I am happy to carry this once again. Angel of mine I had promised never to fall again until the day you  crossed my path...I repeated this to my self over and over....but I refused to listen...now here I am mourning yet again!

Angel of mine you have promised me you be with me, live day by day....now that image is far.... I just see your face in my head, I see your face everyday as I close my eyes...the same image I will carry for all of my living days wondering how you will look in a year...in a decade..will you have children? seven you said once! crazy thing you are...crazy moments you gave me...crazy thing this goodbye....

I have this song is stuck in my head for the past two days

I would like to share it with you...

I sense there's something in the wind
That seems like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it's not to be

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last

And will we ever end up together?
no, I think not, it's never to become

For I am not the one

For I am not the one

From the nightmare before Christmas 

End of a dream

"If destiny have chosen a path for you, it will keep crossing your path no matter what you do..."

Here I am once again, I just can't stop thinking about it, how this happened. I never asked for this to happen to me, it just happens. May be its the best thing to do....

So you might ask yourself why "End of a dream?". Just imagine your self lost, afraid and scared...have you ever been there? I was there many times I felt this many times, its not easy to get out of its grasp. Imagine yourself, after a year of constant pain, pain that felt to good to walk away from. You knew it will never be real but you kept on dreaming for a year, a long painful year....

Then one day you look up at yourself, and you ask yourself, what are you doing to yourself?. Don't ignore this pain, this pain is real. I thought this thing I called love was real.....
 You try to walk out of it, you know it will be painful, but it always have been painful, it will be just a matter of time until this feeling fades away, just a little time and it ill be gone....with you....

Then when you finally managed to get out of its grasp...this darn thing called destiny slaps you in the face one more time. My hard broken heart started beating again, it was a dream, the start of a dream...

But remember whoever dreams one day will face the truth, waking up!. I blamed it on destiny....but I only have my self to blame..only me, no one else...it felt like the best thing to do to give the blame to someone...so that is why I always blamed it on destiny..

 55 days....Imagine yourself falling asleep.... a long sleep, and you dream for 55 long days....the best dream you ever had! The longer you stay in the land of dreams the harder to come back. But if it was just a dream why does it makes me feel so bad?

I was lucky...I was granted a taste of heaven for 55 days....I could see I could almost feel....but I could not touch....for 55 long days....

The best 55 days of my life, trapped in this world of "make believe". But I regret not a single week, not a single day, not a single moment in this dream..I just regret that I had to wake up...

Wake up from what? it seamed so real! It felt so real, it was real! I was real !!!. If it was from my part I would have never woken up,I would have kept on dreaming....keeping this taste of heaven just for my self...

You sweet angel of mine...you, made this empty hollow man to breath life again...you made him see what there is out of the box....the box...the box he thought this woman was trapped in, but he woke up to find that he was trapped in the box in the first place....it was a dream...and now its the end of a dream...

Caution not suitable for adults!

   This just went UP! UP! UP! in my list of best movies!

Yesterday was in need of  that thing to cheer me up a little and I thought that there is nothing better then a good movie. I was looking for something funny\comedy. I realized that had this movie sitting in my pen-drive like for ages..so I thought why not!  I have heard it was funny and catching... so it seamed to be the perfect choice!


I saw the movie trailer a while back and it seamed to be a fun easy to follow animation, no need to use my brain to think..just, sit there and stare at the moving talking picture..and all the colourful  balloons....It was meant to be a movie for kids             .........so easy to digest stuff....

....at least I thought!. I now think they should have put a warning saying " movie contents  is not suitable for adults!" like in bold and in red !!. And I thought Japanese anime movies were sad!!!..

And funny thing is that  I didn't have any sugar at all!! not  like when I saw finding Nemo...I cried too, but I was on such a sugar hype that I could cry for real with a baby just to sympathize!.






I am not doing a review or something of that sort....but in my opinion this movie, if you have not watched it yet...its a must!. It is touching to a way beyond normality....it shows human feelings in its raw state,  and it shakes you a bit and may be slaps you in the face too....

The story is about this old man Carl, and in the first minutes the story concentrates on him and how he met his wife Ellie..his soul mate...

From Just friend with this tomboy Ellie and this not talkative boy Carl....both weird and eccentric like most kids...reminded me a lot of me....a lot of years younger. They grew together, in good and bad times..trough the years chasing a dream that one day they will go an live in a place called "paradise falls". They both dreamed of this perfect place to be...with the perfect person to be with...who doesn't dream that ?. Faith has it that they shall never accomplish this dream...destiny had other plans for them...they fought and worked hard for this dream to come true...but never succeeded...

   








I don't know it it is just me..but I confess many times at least two or three times I shed a tear or two..on several instances I was thinking, this movie is breaking my heart, while other times I thought this is melting my heart ...but whatever or how I felt I thought this movie is just so damn beautiful! :D

Its an ode to love.... friendship..... believing...dreaming.....it some how made me think that fairytales do exist...

Thanks for the adventure- now go have a new one! :'o)  

One wise woman

This is what a very wise woman has told me.. 

"There's always a positive intention in every behaviour...."

People act in weird ways, sometimes we don't understand the motivation, sometimes there isn't any at all...or there is? When I was little my mother sometimes scolded me..but I saw the world from the eyes of a child, I never understood the motivation of that scolding. Only when I started to mature I slowly realised what she meant. 

Sometimes we  become dependent on something or someone that from our point of view we just can't do without!. Lets create a situation.....two siblings one age 15 and the other 9, the young one will want to have protection from his older brother, but the more the young boy is protected the more he is trapped in this  "bubble" and will not learn to fend for himself as he grow, making it more difficult for him in the future when the older brother will be away. 

Its when we are on our own and scared that we attempt to fly, we might fall and hit the ground, but that is how we overcome our fears...  

Sometimes close friends leave us alone when we think we most need them...and we start doubting how much they really value friendship!. 

Think again "There's always a positive intention in every behaviour" .......snap out of the virtual world...there is much more within your reach!. 

God!! this really doesn't sound like me! but hey, I have a serious side too! Yet again, I hope the message gets trough...I tend to be confusing at times..but got so much in my head that I want to share and sometimes I don,t know were to start from!. 

Here is an other example of positive intention, this is taken from a chat between two people.

"Its a very twisted conversation so bare with it!"

• HER~ told u there's always a positive intention in every behaviour
• HER~its just like judging a very fat girl that she spends most of her time eating.. or like          eating like a pig
• HER~but what we don't know.. she almost kill herself to death working out and trying to lose                 some weight..  
• HIM~ hum ....
• HIM~ ok ...
• HIM~ i do believe there is a  positive intention in ppls acts
• HER~hahaha
• HER~ sounds better.. LOL
• HER~ so how d u explain maniacs?
• HER~ psycho killers?
• HER~ bank robbers?
• HER~ :D
• HIM~ they need the money
• HIM~ and a trill in there lives
• HIM~ it makes them feel better
• HIM~so there you have it a positive intention !
• HIM~ :P
• HER~ hahahaha
• HER~nice...
• HIM~ :P

In 24 hours

                                                                               
                                                                         In 24 hours I be waiting....
                 In 24 hours you be back...  
                           

         My life could change in 24 hours ...my life could be just the same in 24 hours....

I thought  that having time alone would clear my mind ... I thought that if we are apart for some time it would change my mind....

Truth is, that I don't feel the same..some how I'm even more lost, some how I want you to be here, now!. For almost 15 days I never missed you..or at least I thought that I did not!. Now that only 24 hours are keeping us apart I just can't wait...24 hours is a long time to wait..

Although I hated the way I was treated the past months, I know now that I cant be torn away from you..I just feel half alive without you.. now that 24 keep us apart...

"It is never to late to change your mind, its never to late to wash sins away, its never to late to come to life again"

 I never thought I could find a way to describe it...it was there inside ...hiding. I was just to afraid to face it. Now that 24 hours are between us I just can't go back...

Run ...run ....run away from it all, may be I could find a way ....wrong ......I was so wrong ....running is never the option, running is denying to face the truth....the key is you....you are the keeper of the key  to my hard heart ....the truth was always there...

 -------O-------

Destiny keeps on calling my name, over and over in my head. Sometimes I hate it....its just to much to take, this small brain can't handle it. 

                                                                                 "To love ....not to love...

                                                                                                       so what to do?" 

                                "is it love....is it not love....

                                                          so what's this?"

"I have never misused the word love, whenever I uttered the word love I meant it". 

once upon a time

fighting witches, dragons and monsters...  

When I was a kid mum used to read me stories till I fall asleep, How much I loved to listen of far, far away lands and castles. and then dragged  to a world where I would create my own story, it was my dream world, I could be whoever I wanted to be!! how warm and safe.... I felt, invincible!! 
It was all perfect ..and ended up always with  a happy ever after...

I grew up and I stopped believing in fairy tales and especially in happily ever afters .

Trough the looking glass...

Did you ever look closely to a fairy tale? Is it always easy to reach the last page and read happily ever after?

Lets take in consideration sleeping beauty....she was an 18 year old young woman and had it all ....rich, beautiful and had all every living person could ever imagine...but she was curious she touched the needle of a wooving machine and falled in a deep sleep for 100 years! The prince had to go trough thorns and fight the witch, to achieve his and hers happy ending. This is a bit of a selfish story really....the princes had it her way and she didn't do big deals, she was priviladged ....all froze for 100 years she never aged a day since she pierced  her finger tip (she even didn't have time to put her Q10 cream before going to bed!!....and still looked amazing!!!!) and at the end of the day she ended up with a young prince! way to young!! at least a 100 years!!.....(lucky bitch huh!!!  :P ).

Little red riding hood !! She  had a tough one!!! she just disobeyed her mum for a few minutes and it all ended in disaster, the bad wolf ate grandma and her too!! Thanks god there was a hunter passing by ...(she wouldn't be this lucky now a days with all these (EU) laws against hunting.....)

One that never had it her way was the poor little mermaid!! The young princes of the deep ocean ..felt in love with a man that was not of her kind not of her world!! he was brought up and lived in a different environment!! (Its like a girl meeting a rock star we would say these days!!) She gave up the most precious thing she possessed her voice!! She gave it to the evil Medusa!! In exchange of feet!. She even saved her loved one from drowning! In the end the prince choose the evil Medusa..... and the poor mermaid melted away becoming foam in the ocean.....sad, sad ending....Life can be sad yes...but there is a moral here, the mermaid sacrificed all!, she did what was against her nature and battled against all odds!! She was a true life pioneer, she never gave up! even if in the end she didn't have it her way, she had no regrets that she never gave life a shot!... 

Others ..change....like snow white. Snow white, she was an "innocent" creature that had to escape from her evil stepmother to save her life! She met seven new friends and a prince in the mean time, got married to the handsome prince in the end too!. She played the role of the victim, and later engaged the role of the villain!! she let hatred grow deep inside her and gave her stepmother a harsh payback!  On her wedding day snow white, made her stepmother wear red hot iron shoes! and made her dance till she dropped dead!! Is the good you ask? No I don't think so but we can take the moral out of this too ...that no matter how bad the circumstances may look we don't have to alter who we really are! We don't have to turn to a selfish, self-centred person!. No matter what the other person did to us, a bad action wont turn an other bad action right!!

Life can be harsh my dear, But you know what? life is beautiful there is always something happening! like we are writing our own fairytale! In fairy tales many possessed mystical weapons and powers and made there life journey more easy, we too have special powers like them...perhaps less "loud", we too meet new characters that give colour to our lives!. Some make us stronger while others makes us sad...but if we look closely from the looking glass we will find positiveness in things that we might have thought where just "normal" or not worth  our attention... 

I am a believer in fairy tales! I am writing my own now! as I meet new characters every day! A powerful wizard and a beautiful princes....... I am using mystical powers like "flying words" they travel from one side to the world to an other in seconds! Impressive huh? ^^

Now tell me... have I done the right ting? where fairy tales just fictional stories? 
if you thought they were just fictional think again!!

Go on ...don't fear .....grab your wooden sword and fight that dragon....as much big and monstrous it may look, it must have a weak point ....we just have to find it .....

Happy Sunday

Love and friendship knows no boundaries..

Hachiko

In 1924 a proffesor in agriculture took Hachiko as a pet. 

Hachiko, was a golden brown Akita dog.

During his owners life Hachiko greeted him at the end of the day at the nearby train station.

The two continued this daily routine till May 1925.

One day at work, proffesor Ueno suffered  from cerebral haemorrhage, and died, 

never returning to the train station where Hachico was waiting. 

For the next nine years Hachico waited every day for his beloved owner return. 

...

At first the attendants tried to scare, and to get Hachico out of the station for a long time, 

but many daily users of the station had seen the proffesor and Hachico together,

so soon enough left let the poor dog alone. 

 In October 1932 an article was published about Hachiko, 

from that day people started bringing treats to the poor dog.

 This continued for nine years, every day!!

And every day precisely at the due time that the train was suppose to come!! 

Hachico caught the nations attention, and he was used as an example of loyalty.

...

In March 8th 1934 Hachico died ...waiting for his owners return...

A metal statue was erected in the station as a memorial for Hachiko's loyalty.

Every year Hachico's devotion is honoured with a solemn ceremonty at the Tokyo Shibuya  rail-road station.   

Let Hachico be an example for all of us.

Happy Sunday wherever you are :)

I'm a sinner!! so what ?

Halt!!!

Content not suitable for highly devout catholic! 

I live my life my own way, let things flow and and pass...  I try not to harm others, in any way, I live and let others live that is the motto!! But is it that we have to preach or to practice? that is the question ! but at the end of the day I am only human and human "sin". I don't want to make a Catholic speech out of this but ....I just want to view things from a different perspective.
By saying sin ....hum how to start Sin in the Catholic church is an act done against or that violates  God's  will, and\or an act done to harm\hurt other living beings. But you can harm yourself and that is a sin as well!.  (although that would be classified as sin since you are hurting a creation of God!). By harming I mean not only physically, but also mentally or spiritually ?!.  

Let me make a twist on this..." The seven capital sins"
The seven capital sins are also known as the seven deadly sins, they can be classified on different levels as "venial sins" and "Mortal sins". Venial sins is a small sin considered not to "Compromise our affair with God?..." any way...., mortal sin usually is suppose to condemn one's soul to the eternal sauna of hell!!.

I don't want to go into "sifting" all the sins and so on bla bla bla ... as I said im taking a twist on the seven capital sins ..so here we go!.

And the nomeniees are   Lust , Gluttony , Greed , Sloth , Wrath , Envy and last but not least Pride !!

Lust 

Lust... Lust is associated with carnal wanting "sexual" but it can hold in its apron deep desire. Who did not want or wish for something badly ?

I am a victim of lust! I wanted, wished and took what I craved for ...that makes me a sinner?. Then lets see it from  a kids point of view, when I was little I wanted so bad a playstation ...I had my way in the end...so kids can sin too?. Things changed when I grew up I wanted more!, discovered the opposite sex.. But if love... Love is an act of God It is the most beautiful emotion human beings share with one an other "Always if you do it from your heart that is!" so that can be a sin too?  And by the way ...by saying I have discovered the opposite sex that does not turn me into a sex maniac! I just had  4 affairs in my life (so far) and had an intercourse with 3 ....been in a relationship for the past 8 years now and never ever had an other one since....(physically at least sigh ...but that is an other story!).

Gluttony 

Gluttony is the over indulgence, or over consumption! to the point of waist!  It is also consumption of expensive food or over eating of delicacies! sigh ...yet an other "Mia Culpa" sooo  many times I eat and over eat!! I love delicacies...who doesn't?  I have a weakness for chocolate!! and many times I indulge in it ..way too much! to the point of nausea!! humm  there is so much that  I love that fit perfectly under the list of gluttony!! and mostly are expensive !!! Foie gras, caviar, salmon, shell fish, venison.....not mentioning all the goodies I ate from Harrods food halls!!!! OMG..... I know.....it is so clear now!!!  Harrods is a devils invention so that people can commit all of the (or at least most!!) seven capital sins !!! 

Greed 

   Greed is just like lust and gluttony, it refers to the crave for material possessions.Usual considered a sin when one wants material things so bad, that other sins are committed like betraying, stealing, bribery and so on and so forth. It could mean the possession of more than one person could really need!. hummm here we go again so if its a sin on material sins, my collection of perfumes is a sin? well if I'm going to hell I might need them! (I heard its pretty hot down there so I might sweat a lot!!). And what about my shoe collection!! I think I was a Cobbler (shoe maker) in my past life ...got over 40 pairs of shoes ....and I believe I will drag mum  to hell with me here!! You can hear unbelievable blasphemies when it comes to the floor washing of my room!! moving about 15 pairs of shoes  each time!!. Greed .....but the most ting I'm greedy about are my loved one's I want them all the time with me!! so yet again I'm a sinner here!!

Sloth 

Sloth  is the definition of physical laziness! ahhaha  !!  I got you here!! I don't consider my self as a lazy guy ^^ !! unless ...it comes to clean my room, washing the car, waking up too early, get to the end of the daily to do list !!! ........ --" !!!! sigh.....

Wrath

A.K.A  (also know as) rage, it defines the uncontrolled feeling of hate and anger! It could go hand in hand with other feelings that may be of personal gain, also could include suicide (since life is given by God as his biggest gift,  and we are rejecting his gift by means of suicide, that make us angry therefore "wrath" and suicide make God angry so that is why its a capital sin.....hoo my,  its a never-ending loop of anger that transfers from one to an other!!). I as much as I think I never got to a state of total "wrath" I'm a very calm person, and I sift the situation very carefully before I make a decision ....and some times it takes me ages to come to a conclusion ...perhaps if at the beginning I had the feeling of "wrath" I would definitely cool down  until I find the answer or an explanation  :P 

Envy 

Envy is similar to jealousy, ie: discontent for others belonging, possessions and status!. Well, well, well ...envy..no I guess I never felt such thing in my entire existence! I think one should be happy of what he is provided with ...and if he\she wants something more in his life, he\she should work hard and follow the dream, at the end of the day we all have abilities, different abilities, some unique to others and we are all good in doing something, even those considered less talented!!. Lets take an example I love to paint!!! many say I'm good but, I know many are better then me at it! but I know I do it from my heart I put passion in it! I love my creations and I am proud(hum Sinner!!!) of them ... and that is what really counts!. 

Pride 

Mirror, mirror on the wall which is the greatest sin of them all??  its definitely  Pride!!. Pride is considered to be the worst sin of them all!, it is considered to be the source of the others. Pride is the excessive love of self considering your self on top of others. A very well known example is Lucifer he thought he was better then God himself!, that made him turn into Satan!!. But is it pride or proud that is wrong ?!.... hummm so lets see pride and proud are basically the same or at least they are made out of the same dough. They both mean  ego "over-exaggeration ?"   It is the exact opposite of humble!. most of the times we criticise others saying "I can do that better!!" or "mine is better then yours" isn't that pride? One have to be grateful for what he have and owns. I think we are all in the same boat!. In my country we say "we are all in the same ocean" meaning we are all subject to the changes around us, no one is eternal and better then others, we all have abilities and the secret is to learn how to use and find them.... 

I'm proud of what I have done and achieved ....are you ?.