Release the swans free

Forgiven -piano cover

Never thought things will change, never wished for things to change...

     Upon a star up in the heaven's  

 Shed tears and Wished like in a childhood dream 

 Past feelings, so deep, too deep I fear 

   Buried so deep,  One never thought still exist  

 Close to the end of this dying Day  

 Finally found the way out of the mists  

 Soon I'll make my way, away- yet near 

 I Have to endure, I have to  subsist  

 A lie based on truth, fake?  no! not you 

 If its a dream, I must Wake to resist 

 Faith weaved this dream with its finest treads  

 Love and hate, To give this short tale a twist 

  Search and Find, the girl I never kissed 

    Scard my core, tough for it I never sought 

    Deep in my mind, among dreams I sift 

 Lost it All, you and me,  not even fought 

 Was it just me, to leave and ignore? 

 Or was it meant to undo this love knot? 

 Who's to blame? Might even have no name 

  Too tightly laced, to happen Just by chance  

 The moon shines only where there is dark 

 This leaves me with much more then room for thought   

I'm afraid of A dream, we once shared 

 Just a Dream, reality... shall be not...   

On this long tedious journey walking the path of my past, found you lost and scared. With every passing day I watched you grow, fighting demons, fighting fear. You gave me strength to go on, when I was tired. When I grew to tired to fight my own demons that haunted me, perhaps the same that before controlled you.  

I must beg for forgiveness, I am not sure what we have done wrong to end up so distant so lost... when we were following the same path. We both shared the same dream, a dream that has turned to ashes.

I forgive you my dear, for the many times you doubted me, for the many times you fetched escape away from me. Remember, I always be here if you ever need a shoulder to lean on. 

  

   In a prison made of broken dreams 

Dark was the water you choose to find rest 

Captive found yourself, must Break the chain  

The cold wind blew that night, no star shined bright 

Frozen by fear, with Chains at your feet 

Once you dreamed to be free, wings wide you spread 

No fear, your wings once more kissed the wind 

And you now know there was never a chain 

Nothing to hold you,  no walls to break 

This pond was your home, a prison you build 

Now you remembered, these wings can  Fly   

Slave no more, nothing to fear my black swan  

Far away, Away from here you chose to be... 

  

My dear I'll set you free, I let you be. I have no doubt that on this long path we will meet again. you might have set fire to every bridge while escaping your own self, giving the blame to me.

Now its time for me to go, as I write these last few lines I can remember every tear I shed. I can feel the raging heat on my skin while crossing these memories that long ago we set to flames...

Picture by tumblr 

Dedicated to the three persons that helped me become the man I am today...

Happy Easter

Living on an island that is highly conservationist many times got it downsides. You are obliged to follow a certain protocol. Catholicism is the main religion and with it comes another set of rules. With Easter comes the lent period. I cannot consider myself as a believer and follower of these costumes, but I do love to go around villages and be able to savour the traditional "Lent food" and watch the processions that are held all over the island.

The atmosphere is saturated with the smell of incense and burning candles that overwhelm the place, most of the people (the older generation) wear black as a sign of mourning, as are the half mast flags.

I am not a believer, I admit!. I have my ways to celebrate these days and I give a twist to this rigid traditions.
As it happens for many years now Tory, Cass and a few others including me of course, meet on Thursdays evening till midnight, as mourning will start right after  the stroke of midnight.

This year was not of any difference, except that we introduced our twist of the costumes to Tory's sweetheart. All of us loved the smell of incense that pervaded the air, mixed with the pungent smell of sweet bread still warm out of the oven, fried dumplings, date fritters and the aroma of spiced coffee all savoured right there while wandering from stall to stall in the candle light lit narrow streets.

The night was to short and the crowd made it almost impossible to have a proper conversation.  Guess there was to much going on to focus on just one thing. When out of the blues Tory wrapped her arms around me and said "my Alvin" (yeah...she nick named me Alvin just like Alvin and the chipmunks, don't ask me why!). Haven't met Tory for a long while now and many times I worry how is she doing. I am afraid that she falls in love to easily and many times this makes her suffer, hope this time is different, I do think its different from the look in her eyes, I can tell there is something more then her past lovers. I just hope that this feeling is  reciprocated. I could never forget Chris for hurting her, she's important to me, she was always there for me and I will always be there for her.


My dear friends I wish you a Happy Easter wherever you are on this globe!. This is the season of hope, may it bring peace to you and all the people you love.

...Happy Easter...

Picture by google

An award caught in a web!

Hello everyone! 

I must thank Michelle from the Blog Vintagecobweb  for nominating me for the Fabulous blog award!. 

I must say that I was trilled to receive such a nomination!. Its always good to know that there are people who actually bother to stop and take their time to read your blog, even if many times is not a great work of   literature, but HEY I'm  doing my best to improve my English!. 

Wisely Michelle did not include any rules with this award, which comes as a relief  to say the truth, as these days don't have much time to write and be able to follow what is going on in the blog world.

Thank you very much indeed  Michelle, its an honour to accept this award!. 

Pictures by google images

  

A hasty decision...

Only God knows how much I prayed, only God knows what kind of thoughts passed trough my head. I was on the verge of insanity. How could have this happen to me? how? and why?. I always thought I knew what I wanted from my life, I was sure I knew. But there I was, lost and confused.

I needed time to be alone, to think things over. I wanted to be away from everyone and everything. But its hard when you have commitments, and even harder when the farther you can be is just a few km away, and most probably or eventually will meet or bump into someone you know to remind you of who you are and where you come from, these are the disadvantages of living on an island measuring 14/27 km!.

For days I avoided opening my laptop and for days I heard this voice coming out of it calling my name and asking me to go back. I was going mad.

Then a godsend!, my friend from the UK invited Cass and me to stay over her house for a few days. I accepted without any hesitation, and Cass looked quite trilled too to the idea. The invitation came at the right time and moment, it was what the both of us needed.

I left the voices in my head back home and left to the quiet of the English countryside. It was what I needed, it was what the both of us needed. At the back of my head Guga was still a constant, but everyday that passed he felt distant and even more distant. It was like, I could see clearly again, he was still lingered in my head but I felt like I knew what was happening to me. I felt somehow, some what reborn!. It felt good...

Extended my stay by 4 more days, travelled south to London, and booked a lovely room in a small hotel, situated in the centre (for those who knows the TV series upstairs downstairs, it was one of those old mentions renovated and turned to boutique hotels). Very romantic, we had all the time and quiet we needed and wanted.

Loved to hear you breath while you sleep..

Loved to feel your warm breath on my chest...

Waking beside you...warm..

while outside was cold....

Listening to the rain while we both felt into deep sleep...

On my return home I knew what I wanted to do..... I knew it was a very hasty decision, but I was sure I wanted to do it!. There was no other options, and I felt like it was my  make me or break me decision...this would have been the final answer, I would have all of the answers I needed or simply loose everything I had . All that I wanted to know would have come to me, only...would it be all the same? and would I take it? and mostly important, what will Cassidy think?....would we survive this as-well?...

Its not always easy to share, to be continued ...

Pictures by tumblr and Hotei.

There where the grass is greener?

I felt like no longer she looked at me the same way as before, I felt she was getting distant and more distant as days went on. Perhaps it was just me or just in my head, but the thing is, that I felt uncomfortable with this situation, and the more days that passed the stronger this feeling became. Now what I promised to my self seemed to be distant, the person I tried to forget and avoid felt like he was what I wanted, what I needed back then, he felt warm even if he was distant, and Cassidy felt cold even when we made love.

I was sure I love her, but I was not sure I loved her the same way as before. We have been trough so much in the past years, we had our happy moments our sad moments, we smiled... we laughed... we cried...we painted this life together starting from a blank canvas, but I felt like I was not the author of the painting, I simply could not see  myself in it any more.

I wished I had time to think things over, but I could not take for ever. After all I felt like it would be selfish of me to do so, must not forget I was not alone feeling this way, I was more then just sure.

Guga kept me trapped under his spell for months, he gave me all that back then I needed, from attention to care. But he could not offer love, he never did since the beginning, he just offered me an escape route just that, all the rest was just in my head, just an illusion,  I wanted just an acknowledgement but he never gave me that. At least I knew were he was standing and where his feelings would lead him...I did not know where mine would lead me!. 

The day I told Guga I might be falling for him even if I never met him in person was the day that the relationship started to change. He never looked for love, or if he secretly was, he never shared that with me, after all he was a reserved person. From that day our encounters started to diminish, to the point I started to forget how his voice sound, how his face looked like. Only my thoughts of him never changed.

It was the time when I realised and started asking the question to myself...what was I doing?.
I felt used and mentally abused, I let him do this to me, filling me up with his sweet words, making me feel good about my self...I could not hate him for that....no I couldn't...

I tried my best to avoid any contact with him and just ignored all of his messages, I wanted to take control back of  my life and my emotions. No more I left him be the ruler of my dreams...



...at least I tried.

Picture google images

The other side of the mirror....my version

Back then when I resigned from my old job, found out that none of my friend were left waiting for me and most probably none wanted to have anything to do with the person I have become.

Now with more time on my hand I had discovered new interests, but as soon as winter made its self feel I had no option but to stay home. To break a little the daily monotony I started using a social network (hi5). It was all going fine till I started sharing pictures of my self and most of the “friends” started commenting on my image and asking for sex and video calls. I was not looking for a relationship, but I was looking for a friendship nothing else nothing more.

On the day I was suppose to delete my account, a request I sent was accepted, and a short while after I was having a nice conversation with a guy from across the ocean his name was Joao (I then nicknamed him Gwanni, translated from my mother language).

I shared my world with him and he showed me his world. An unknown gravity made me go back every single day, craving to know more about this new friend and about his world. Days passed and it was time for me to remove my account once and for all....

...I needed to escape from the network ...back then I was more retained more closed into-myself, I was not always like that but the events that occurred in my life made me change the person I was once...

I was scared, and somehow hated many of the proposals I was receiving, events in my life made me scared almost “homophobic”. Don't get me wrong I never done anything or discriminated anyone, I was just scared, again life happenings made me be scared.

But I somehow new this was not just an ordinary friendship it felt from the very beginning that something much more bigger was to be conceived. It was a friendship that would have not know any boundaries no distance and asked nothing in return ….just to listen and understand .

Thanks Gwanni,

Your friend C.  

In love again.

For so many years I locked my self and neglected my own self and most of all I ignored my loved one. Now it was the ideal time to make something and revert all this and make up for the time lost.

The only logical ting was to spend as much time as possible with each other, after all for years we left many things unsaid and left our relationship deteriorate slowly, without doing anything about it. Perhaps I have to blame my own self for this, she always gave me all of herself and all that she had, now it was time to give her something back.

Slowly we started coming closer again, it kind of felt like a new feeling discovering it for the first time... 

At the end of summer left for a small retreat just the two of us our destination was London. I can remember it very clearly, I was so trilled only left the island 5 years before, I have....we have changed so much during these years I felt like rediscovering my own self. It have been a very long time since we had time to be close and alone. Making love the first night felt different, I was different, she was different I felt  like a stranger in my own skin. Perhaps I needed more time to come out of this, it was a slow recovery and the most ting I hated about it was that it was not allowing me to see her feelings clearly, I could not feel the warmth I was used to, she felt somehow distant.

I watched her sleep that night, I could not sleep, my mind was crowded with thoughts. I had it all I thought, I now let it all go. I felt ashamed of my own self, she deserved better I thought. That night we were on the same bed but yet felt distant...there I promised that I will give her more of myself.

Each day that passed we found more and more of what made this flame start, making love now became more of what I used to know, no longer I felt ashamed of laying beside her in her sleep. It felt safe to hold hands again nothing could harm us or break us apart.

Just like every journey it had to come to an end, mine was no difference. Came back home brand new, overflowing with emotions, one of the best feelings I ever felt in my entire life. We were in love again, just like the first time.

 As we found each other again and our long lost feelings, destiny had something lurking for us that would make our world crumble and fall, just like a very sick joke played softly like a lullaby by a stronger and bigger force something that only time had power over it... 

Pictures by tumblr

Light...

On the day of my exit I did not look back, I felt this proud feeling about my self deep inside me. It felt like the best thing I could do for my self and the people who are around me and love me. Now I could take back my life, now I could sail back this boat to shore after the long tedious journey.

But no matter how much I have tried, no matter what I did I felt still overwhelmed by this anger deep inside me. I still hated the people ho tried to make my life miserable, and the more I thought about it the more it grown. I could not take it, I have never harmed anyone for personal gain, but there I was, a victim of their greed and selfishness, I was weak so that was my punishment, I deserved to feel miserable.  

At home it was not any different, I preferred to be alone I needed the time to be alone. Time...now I had time, time to think more to the point of nausea. Have this thick skin I'v grown suffocated the man trapped inside it?.  It took me days to realise I was out of the tunnel, I looked and searched for the life I have left unlived 5 years before. But I could not find it, all the friends I had left were all gone, no one was left to wait for me, and contacting them was not going to help, they surely must have forgotten about me, why would they remember?. They left me behind them as they continued living their lives or was I to leave them as I never replied to them, or I was simply to busy with my work building a future ignoring my past, leaving alone what I had to leap in the dark and maybe make a future out of it. All alone again I was in no different position  from the work I have just left. Would my act be waisted in vain?.

Then found help, a help that was always near me but I was to blinded to see. I was cold and I was many times bitter to her, I have left questions of hers un-answered. Many times I just started an argument to be able to escape and be alone again and safe in my dark corner, safe from the light of this new world, this new life I have now started living. Only God knows how many times I made her cry with my cold attitude, but she instead of turning her back on me...she smiled and showed me that she still cared for me, that there was something still worth to live for, and most of all that we still shared the same dream that we once started dreaming a while back.

By the time I have opened my eyes, she started loosing hope, effected by my selfishness and stubbornness. Or maybe realising that I was now waking up from this long, deep nightmare I trapped myself in, decided to make me have a taste of my own bitter behaviour. And how I can blame her for that?. She slapped me back to me asking nothing in return, only to be treated like a human being with feelings should be treated, not just indifference and neglect.

Pictures by tumblr

The beginning of the end

When a bird is alive it eats ants and when a bird is dead, ants eat the bird, time and circumstances can change at any time. Don’t devalue or hurt anyone in your life. You may be powerful today but remember that time is more powerful then you. One tree makes a million match sticks but only one match stick is needed to burn down a million trees. 

So be good and do good. 

The End... 

What a relief!, I was now free (or almost free!) gave 11 years of service to the company, I had no extra days off in 5 years!, except when Cassidy was in hospital.
I was called by the directors and the management for a meeting, they offered me more money, but I refused them on the spot. All I wanted was to get out of there, I worked far too long and under the worst circumstances, more then anyone could take!.

By law had to work a notice period, and to my disbelief I had to suck it in for an other 3 months!. It was either that way or pay 3 months of notice!. I was happy to pay a 3 months notice to the company...but then I thought (why?). I sweated my ass off for so many years, I gave all that I had, sacrificed so much!. I proposed a deal. And to my more disbelieve they accepted!. They freeking accepted!!!. My proposal was, that I work for 3 months, but only a 40 hour!, they can forget the 60 hour a week!, and I wanted my leave balance to be paid! I never took any leave in 5 years   that meant I had over a year of balance left!.

And so it was, I many times regretted the fact I made such a proposal, and many times I wanted to kick my own self, but then I used to tell my self, (you stood for so many years, what 3 months mean now? and besides I'm working only 40 hours a week).

The others... what happened to them?...

Joe, remained at the hotel, after my resignation promoted to sous chef. He moved living in with Ta Chan. 

Ta Chan, Left the hotel after a few months I left, her and Jo living together . who knows perhaps wedding bells are in the air?.  

Jessica, resigned after 6 months I did, now working more happy and less stressed and perhaps she have more time to spend with her family....and especially her son. 

Tassu, left the country and went working in the UK, he is now father of two beautiful children. 

Rose, left the island for a holiday in Germany, now married to a German man, last I heard from her said she will make a come back soon. 

Tomo Chan, resigned from the hotel the same week I did, now happily working in a small restaurant, last time I saw her she was enjoying her meal in the restaurant I am working in, her son enjoyed the kitchen tour I gave him and loved sending the orders out!. 

Rosanna, happily married in Switzerland now a proud mother of 3 kids. 

Chef Kazu, back in Japan opened his 3rd sushi restaurant in Hiroshima!. Proud dad of daughter Luna.    

Taka, back to Japan,  happy married father of two kids. 

Vince, Not happily married, the new position got into him now the director of a major 5* hotel. 

SiSi, still working at the hotel, just had her daughter wedding last summer. 

Clint, took over my position for a month then left the hotel to work in a new opened restaurant, bribed some of the staff to join him. He was fired a week after the opening of the restaurant  unable to find job on the island due to his reputation he now seeks fortune in the UK.  

Chef, still working at the hotel, received a message if I wanted to go back....my answer? FUCK YOU !! :) 

Nigel, never heard from him since...

Therese, separated from her husband, found love on the island, fighting for custody of her children, last time I had a chat with her she said she was missing her children quite badly and was dying to go back to the Philippines!.




From this moment onwards my story will change dramatically, the long introduction was necessary for you to understand me and get a picture of my personality. Also I wanted to write it all down as a reminder, for me to be able to look back and see how long I have come.

It was an ode to love, my love for Cassidy, an apology to her for turning to such a jerk many times. I may not have mentioned it much but I love her, I do...and despite what happened I was always loyal to her and I'm sure she was to me. I may have "betrayed" her trust in a way many times, I may have many times walked away from her, but I loved her ...I was always true. True with her true with me true with you!. Even if many times I was silent and distant, the flame that started 9 years ago still burns.

To those that I have addressed many posts, I want to let you know that my feelings never changed, what I said I still believe, and you will always be a vital part in my life. The feelings I felt will always be imprinted in my heart, mind and soul.  Wish many times we had not said goodbye, as I miss you much. And this silence pains me a lot. Perhaps one day you will understand my feelings, that I carried and still carry.

And here I call the end of my long bumpy journey. I shared the ups and downs of my life with you my friends. This is the end of the first chapter, and the beginning of a new one.  

Pictures by google images and tumblr

How it works?

Many will have noticed the new badge on this blog (2013 technicolour) 

This Badge!

Must thank Angela from the blog Recanto@@lgen

More details about this challenge will be found on her blog in the link above!. 

I gladly accepted the challenge and therefore made up a new page in this blog. 

 Lets colour 2013

Find the link in the side bar! 

indicated by this image! 

 feel free to comment and visit! 

COLOUR THE WORLD IN PICTURES! 

_______________________________________________

Over and over many have brought to my attention  that they find very difficult to navigate in my blog, especially when coming to read older post.! But few have noticed the MEMORIES button in the side bar.

Therefore  I have changed the MEMORIES button to an index on its own hoping that this will help navigators more. Now  the months will show, Click on month and all the post for that month will be displayed on one page. Hope this is of any help to you. Find all of my posts under the NEW BUTTON 
                                             
                          THE MEMORY JAR. 


Please let me know how it goes, and if it is of any help to you. 


Thanks Hotei 

Do outro lado do oceano...

Queridos amigos do outro lado do oceano, decidi escrever um post para você em Português como um agradecimento por suas numerosas visitas diárias e apoio ...

Este é o meu primeiro post em Português  por isso, vá fácil em mim...

Quando eu comecei a usar redes sociais eu nunca poderia ter imaginado em que tipo de aventura que eu teria embarcado em!. Durante a minha viagem eu conheci uma pessoa que para mim hoje tornaram-se mais do que apenas um amigo. Este Natal, ambos de alguma forma, pensei a mesma idéia, e decidiu trocar endereços .. e trocaram pacotes através de (mail), tudo a mesma coisa apenas menos a árvore de Natal!. 

>.<

Depois de um longo tempo de espera os dois pacotes chegou ao destinacao. O que eu mandei tem um pouco danificado no trânsito, mas o conteúdo parecia ser bastante sólida e multa. Eu estava tentado muitas vezes para abrir o meu pacote, mas eu resisti até o dia nós dois abriu em um (skype) juntos.

Meu caro amigo me enviou estas Gwanni muito bonito biscoito em forma de biscoitos magnéticos, que disse que "melhores amigos", eu totalmente amá-los! :) Também um cartão com saudações da avó Maria e Gwanni :)

Uma imagem de ambos como uma família que eu amava muito também e achei muito doce deles :)
E por último, mas não menos importante um urso! Eu tenho algo para ursos eu encontrá-los simplesmente irresistível!.


Meu caro amigo Gwanni gostaria de lhe agradecer por estar sempre lá para mim, especialmente quando eu precisava de mais, quando eu estava caindo. Quando eu estava prestes a fazer coisas estúpidas ... só Deus sabe se eu teria sido hoje se eu havent cruzou o seu caminho ...

Obrigado meu querido amigo do outro lado do oceano ...

Any More Then A Whisper...

Now that I have come so far,
                    Now that I have been through so much, 
                                                                          I can't go back...






The year came to an end, left behind so many good memories and some not so good memories...
I'm ready to face the new year ahead, I'm ready to live the 365days ahead of me!.
The past few days were crucial for me..obtained more knowledge in a week then I did in months! somehow found the time to think things over...but will share them later as it makes more sense that way.

Over the past months (6) to be precise!, I have shared my emotions, thoughts and my life happenings, perhaps some may have been asking what was it all about. Its now time to go on,  and write the last chapter of this diary.

You met me and probably know me inside out by now or at least you know me from what I have been sharing with you. As the regular readers know, I am very reserved, but I was not always been this way.
I changed beyond imagination, to the point I did not recognise my own self .

The so called "retrospective" is almost to its end, it was necessary to go through it all!.
Even the posts that  no one probably knew what I was talking about, or to whom they were addressed,  but all the missing pieces of the puzzle will now start slowly find there rightful  place!.

Last but not least I must thank a few people that directly and indirectly helped me with the build up and constant transformation of this blog.

Must thank my friend Gwanni for showing me how to open and put up a blog!. The poor guy spent to many nights patiently explaining how to work with the editing and especially the (HTML)! good God!
Thanks for all of your support I would not be here today....
....and no this is not the end of my diary! just a small change!.

I must thank the now famous "Lisbon"  for giving me a punch in the face and turn my believes and my world  up side down!. (After all Lisbon is a real person at the end of the day)

Must thank my follower, then friend, then forever imprinted in my heart, mind and soul.
 May I dare say a part of me to the "East", she too helped modelling this blog and make it the way it is today. Also such a good listener to my constant whining and a good support, pushing me hard to write and write more!.

Cassidy, indirectly helping me finding  inspiration. For keeping my spirits up high, when things go not so good in life.  A big thanks for her support to stay by my side even when I was a jerk to her.

Tory for listening to me when I most needed, for giving me a hug when needed, to dry my tears when I cried.
She also supported my writings, by saying it was a good idea to have a diary that was shared.

Last but not least YOU my dear listeners! YOU for reading my post even if many times they are badly written, as I am no writer nor a poet I'm just a ....Whisperer....

Pictures tumblr

Drum rolls!

I am here to thank my friend and follower Fahima Ayub (Walking in the woods) for thinking of me, and nominate me for the Versatile blogger Award!!. I must say I wasn't expecting this, not in a million years!.

The Rules are simple!

1. Thank the generous Blogger that nominated you, linking his\her blog. 
2. Add the Versatile Blogger badge to your blog. 
3. Nominate your favourite bloggers ever!. 
4. Let the bloggers you nominated know about the nomination. 
5. Share 7 facts bout you. 

7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO! 

• I never had a diary before starting my blog. 
• I most of the time sing while at work... I love it!...my work mates don't!! ^^ 
• In love with photography.
• Thinking in adopting a kitten. 
• Favourite anime ever is (death note). 
• My favourite beer is  (Kilkenny).
• I'm an awful dancer!. 

And the nominees are...


Kuma           Commas of Destiny 
http://virgulasdodestino.blogspot.com/

Andre          Dream Dinosaur Girl 
http://dream-dinosaur.blogspot.com/

Cecille         FliPinay Wee Blether 
http://flipinayweeblether.blogspot.co.uk/

Christy        Peri alos (Περί Αλός)  
http://perialos.blogspot.com/

Patricia      Life is only what you make 
http://lifeisonlywhatyoumakeit.blogspot.com/

Dora           My Dream 
http://mydreamdark.blogspot.com/

Balqis         Part and parcel of life 
http://lilstarrz09.blogspot.com/



Congratulations to you all! Keep up the good work you are all doing!

Come into my world

Seems like yesterday that I have started writing 

 Any More Then A Whisper...

Have grown and learned during this past year....

  

When I think how my blog started I think of fate...

Fate made me start a blog ...or something I called destiny.

Its funny how destiny works... 

Last year I left for a holiday the one in many years, my destination  was London. 

I happened to love classical and contemporary art so my favourite, spot was the 

British museum. 

Like a respectable tourist I snapped shoots of the many sites in the city... 

One shoot I will always remember will be the one of the above mentioned British museum...

This very shoot changed the course of my life...and I would not be here posting and sharing my thoughts today... 

All started with a gift...

Then Destiny started its cycle...

A blue pencil....an old diary ....

drained my thoughts...my emotions...

Then... the blog 6 months later..

.

So my dear listeners of whispers here is my year in pictures...

You will not only listen...but discover my world...

...o...

  After my trip I went back a few months later...

needed time to think of the already happened events....

...December... 

And besides I was never away in the month of December 

December for me meant Work! 

Was my second trip in three months...

it was magical....

yet I missed something I left behind...

Hotei's Calendar for the year 2012

...January...

"Every extra day is a bonus"..

this is what my friend told me

I agreed, and started living with that philosophy  

Promised we will watch as many sunsets as possible...

We still do to date...

... February...

Again needed to escape..

took a brake for a few days...

Cold days...the sun to warm my face....

stormy sea...

this was my winter... 

...March...

 "Every day is a bonus"

again heard these words...

will show you every bit of this corner of the world..

I promised I will 

so I will keep my promise...

And more sunsets...

...April...

Days getting warmer..

walking in parks...

Hand in hand...

...May...

Weather is fine, lovely time for a trip 

across the channel...  

and a stroll by the sea...

Watch yet an other sunset...

...June...

Its my birthday, 

and I drink if I want to...

and watch an other sunset in good company...

by the sea...

blowing candles..

way to many ...

please don't mind the mess...

it was dark...

and probably I was drunk...

...July...

Left the island for a while...

drank and ate like there was no tomorrow... 

and I must add...

I loved the views...

...August...

It was time for me and my friends...

Drink some wine...

laugh and dine... 

Time to get dizzy..

and may be dance..

in a mid summer dream...

Then look down to the city below...

...September...

Time to party in the city..

Time to explore the city...

Time to escape from the city...

...October...

By the sea I walked at night...

Explored every  corner of this rock...

celebrate with a drink on roof top...

... November...

Found the time to be spooky...

 a dark night...

 chased away the dark, with orange light....

... December...

Its that time of the year again.. 

Were you eat and exaggerate! 

perhaps a drink...

and a cake...

food...

and more...

and more...

and even more!...

and I say....

 why not  have more?...

Its Christmas...

and the end of this year...

so why not make the best?...

Cheers my dear friends a toast to you..

may the new year bring..

happiness

all 

that your heart 

wish 

and more..

Many....Many...Many wishes to you 

from your favourite whisperer..

  

Happy New Year!!! 

Pictures by Hotei