It is not a matter of inspiration, nether fantasy, it just comes to me. I can't explain why or how, all I know is that my finger tips tingle. I call it tingling, fact is that I can't find any other word to make myself more clear. All I know is that there is only one way to stop this urge, and that is writing. I always loved writing, I did it since I was a child, it is something that perhaps is buried in me deeply. I look at it like when taking a picture, when you find the perfect shot you just click away to freeze the image, same is with writing it comes and goes, sometimes an idea can linger in my head for hours or days and many other times for just seconds.
Sometimes it scares me how my brain works, how I see the image I want to capture. Its not easy to comprehend, but I can try to explain. Its like being in a bubble, I see everything amplified and sharp, but yet I feel cut out from the rest of the world. Sometimes the colours are vibrant more then you could ever imagine, other times I'm overwhelmed by scents, sweet images laced with these sweet smells. This feeling comes to me sometimes for an instant... sometimes hours, and other times the image is unclear almost blurred and dull. So if you ask me what I am on about don't feel bad if I don't explain cause many times I can't understand it my self.
Keep on wanting more, I know she does, I know once she have tasted the forbidden fruit its hard to let go, she gets inebriated by its taste and liquor. I just need her to understand that not all I see is clear, and that many times words come to me obfuscated, almost like distorted, many times I can hear and listen, but simply can't processes a single word.
Many times I can read her shivering soul trough her teary eyes, perhaps after hurting her unintentionally, how stupid I feel. I should have many times said words I thought, that would have made things more easy to understand, not only for her but perhaps even for me... how stupid I feel...
On other occasions I speak a language she cant understand, but those words just slip out without me having control on them, its just like my body doesn't respond to my own commands. How stupid I feel when sometimes I realise that time has passed, slipped away without ever realising, how stupid I feel...
Picture by google images
.jpg)
