Autumn leaves...

"Just like the last  Autumn leaf falling to the ground  your silence is the sign of the end..".

Many nights I have seen the sun setting over me and rising on her, although she's far, I felt her near.
Many times I heard  you breath in my head, watched you sleep, you watched me sleep...
How many times I watched dawn?  and how many times  you watched the fall of dusk?.
How many times I missed you...how many times you missed me?.

Now it feels like its hard to breath...I cant find my peace of mind.
Collecting the leaves that fall to freeze her memory  as Winter fall,
You wandered long, travelled so far, to the end of the world, followed your heart.

Can't leave this past behind, in my memories your image lives.
Like Autumn leaves, making love before they hit the ground.

Tell me now my dear, is this all for real? 

You say your happy... you look pretty good...
You said you'll call me...I promised that too...
But none of us dared to break the silence that Autumn brought..we just watched Winter fall...

Sweet.... sweet romance, warm and bright... an old feeling, but yet so new, lingers in my head... imprinted in my heart...

The warm flame of romance soon died as the last Autumn leaf felled to the ground.

If winter melts away there will be chance for more romance?

                                                                                 I see... chances are so few....

"I'v watched  the sun rising on you and its now it sets on me..".

Pictures by DeviantArt and tumblr

 

Happy Christmas

Exactly one year ago, when I got back from work sat on my bed with a hot cup of tea and switched on my lappy. All I wanted was to relax and not hear the word food at all!.

What actually happened was that I had to step by step guide a friend trough "Skype" making the famous Portuguese dish "Sericaia"  back then alien to me!. Of-course told a white lie and said I knew how to make it! (Mr Chef could not let his friend down).  Ended  up in disaster,  but the taste was pretty good!.

So let me share this typical Portuguese recipe!

Ingredients;

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour (sifted, then measured)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup whole milk
• Zest of 1/2 lemon, removed in strips with a vegetable peeler
• 1/2 stick cinnamon
• 4 large eggs, separated
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Method; 

Preheat oven to 350° F (135°C, Gas Mark 1). In small, heavy, non-reactive saucepan, combine 1/4 cup sugar with flour and salt, then whisk in milk. Drop in lemon zest and cinnamon stick. Set pan over moderate heat and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture just boils and forms stiff batter, 5 to 7 minutes.

Remove pan from heat and whisk in egg yolks. Set mixture aside to cool, whisking occasionally, 15 minutes.

In large bowl using electric mixer, beat egg whites until fluffy and texture of thick sea foam. Gradually beat in remaining 1/4 cup sugar, then continue beating until soft peaks form.

Remove lemon zest and cinnamon stick from cooled egg yolk mixture and discard. Gently fold 1/3 of beaten whites into yolk mixture. Scoop mixture onto remaining beaten whites and fold in gently but thoroughly until no streaks remain.

Mound batter in un-greased 9-inch ceramic or glass pie pan. Sift ground cinnamon over batter, covering completely. Place pan on baking sheet. Bake on middle oven rack until centre is set and cracks have formed on surface, about 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cool to room temperature.

Tips;

• Sericaia will fall slightly — this is to be expected Cut into wedges to serve.
• 
  
• Sericaia will keep, loosely covered, at room temperature up to 2 days.
• 
  
• Avoid over-beating the egg whites,Once you've added the sugar, beat them to the soft-peak stage.
• 
  
• When the beater is lifted, the whites should form peaks, then slowly flop over. You want them to flow from the bowl, rather than slide out in one Styrofoam-like lump."

1...2....3...

After being reviewed on tripadvisor.com and received the award of best recommended restaurant  and now one of the top listed on the site worldwide!!. Last week the restaurant received a culinary award! the fast escalation of its popularity doesn't seem to stop!

Some things are not meant to happen....

What irony!! For the 3rd year in a row the restaurant I'm working in receives a nominee, and guess what?! we won! placing 6th on the island! Happy you say? hum ....yes I am, but guess some acknowledgement  wont hurt!! What I mean you ask? To make a very long story short, Changed 3 working places in the last 3 years and for the 3rd time in a row, the restaurant  I moved in  wins! placing in the top 10!

3 years ago... I was head in an Asian restaurant (fusion more like it), I was approached by the director and he asked me to represent the restaurant! I was pretty exited as I had never attended such an event! and to say it all, to be age 25 receiving such an honour was like winning the lottery ( not quite but close enough).  2 days before the presentation...chef (executive) comes to me saying "Mind if I send someone else? I think he deserves it more then you!" (sure he does!!!! ^^ he worked so hard in those 6 days in total over a span of a year!!! That must have been the reason why we won!!! ^^ ). So there! 1 award down! tough shit! better luck next time!.

2 years ago... (1 year later) after a month from the presentation of the award director comes to me and says "Hotei! we need you to take care of the new restaurant" so it was! for a year I took great care and did my very best (just as always... too proud not too!). Guess what? nominated again!. Managing director again "Hotei!, congrats you go represent the restaurant". Well I thought better late then never! ....Executive chef "Hotei I'm sending this chap instead of you! I'll save you the trip" (sure! keep doing this to me! as if I wanted to go!!! ^^ ). This was the final blow! one of the things that made me resign from my job! (or at least one of the final blows!!). 
Well not all was lost! the "Chap" could not make it, so Chef sent the head waitress instead (course not me! why bother?!) well as she was handed over the award she said in a loud voice...."This is for you Hotei! you should be here instead of me!!!"   heheheh I was not present on the day but I heard Chef turned to a green colour!!!!.  

And last but not least just a few days ago Mr crabs comes to me and said "What an amazing night! we just won an award! but I'm sending no one! we are short of stuff ...you know!" ( but of-course your royal stinginess !!!!!)

Guess some things are never meant to happen..... lets see, might get a surprise next year!.

Picture Google images

What a wonderful summer!.

Going back to work I wanted to snap out of this dimension (state) I was in, there is no use in crying over this, life had to go on. Guess that (bitch) called destiny sometimes makes one right!.

Back to the normal  routine at work, found a new comer, her name was Lisa a 19 year old Italian girl from Milan. Tory was back from her studies in Italy too, to spend her summer holidays. This was one crazy summer. I remember I wanted Cassidy to forget the happened and have as much fun as possible!. After all life goes on, no matter what! and crying on past events, wont help us look to the future!.

One thing I was left impressed was with  Tory's Italian! she left the island not speaking a single word of Italian, came back  like a talking walking dictionary!!!. Putting my once fluent Italian to shame!.

This young woman Lisa was a very bubbly person and she had a charisma, a gravity!, that pulled you to her. She came to stay for 3 weeks while her dad did an IT thing for the company I was working with. By the end of the 3rd week she took a liking to me as she spent most of the time with me in the kitchen making fun of me every time I missed used a word as now my Italian was rusted beyond imagination!.  

She asked permission from her dad and asked if she could work for 3 months in the hotel, even if it had to be for free in exchange of a bed to sleep on!....and that happened!.

 Even tough my working hours were very long we still found time time go out every single day! right after dinner and a quick shower. Back does days happened in a quite  weird way as the hotel had no showering facilities for staff (as EU laws were not implied in yet!)  so showered in this small yard we had right next to the kitchen with cold water and a hosepipe!!.

Never in my life had such a summer! Tory and me still laugh every time we talk about it! we did everything that could come to your mind! and drank way too much... more then our bodies could take ( thinking of it...no wonder why I cant drink as much theses days!). We had beach parties, pool parties, sea trips, Arabian night out, dinners, night clubbing  well guess you got the picture!.

Thank you all for such a wonderful summer, but all good things come to an end.  It was time for our friend Lisa to leave..leaving us with a sweet taste in our mouth...I miss her much perhaps one day you'll come back, just as you promised me...now that your days at university are numbered.... I be waiting !.

Thank you...you too showed me  my love for Cassidy, even tough I was very attracted to you and you to me we held strong, even if many times it was hard for me or you to stay strong...your words still echoes in my mind as a sweet reminder ......



We left tattoos on each others skin.... 

                         

Picture tumblr

Just a quick share...

I cannot believe its almost Christmas, time really fly!.  Yesterday I sent my entry in a short story contest on a blog suggested by my friend Gwanni. I thought it was ok to share this tiny episode of my life, and want to be honest with you, I felt pretty nostalgic while writing it. Thought I was ready to share, thought I had gone past the emotions... guess not...

Will not share the story on my blog...not yet at least...I feel like its not the time yet..and for those who know me,  guess you'll get a glimpse of what I mean here....

Seems  like yesterday that I have started writing, had a schedule to follow but guess you can never have a scheduled when it comes to write  your emotions down.

"Dear all, one more thing....keep in mind in your prayers a friend of mine that in this times needs strength to go on....I'm not a believer but I will pray anyway...may your thoughts and mine be with her and help her go trough this....".

Picture tumblr

Her smile still lingers

"Back from my two day retreat, have to admit I definitely needed two days away from it all!. No phone no Internet and no TV .. nothing at all !!. Weather had no mercy on us, as it was really cold and windy, plus we had constant showers of rain and hale!. But all considered it was fun and had time to think and most important rest!"

I laid in bed early the first night, perhaps it was the long day and the couple of glasses of port wine that made me feel heady. Was waken up by a loud sound of thunder early in the morning maybe a little past midnight, stood up and walked to the balcony to look outside in the darkness. Looked down but could barely see a thing... to dark!. Darkness only broken by the blinding flashes in the distance right over the sea, a storm was heading our way, but I felt pretty safe and warm in my room. Pulled the curtains closed shut and went back to bed and tucked myself very well under the covers. It took a few minutes for my eyes to get used to the dark, but then shadows and reflections started to re-emerge slowly again. Stared at the ceiling  listening to the silence of the night disturbed only by the sound of the howling wind and the sound of the rain. 

  I thought and wondered as I could not help it, all of the happenings that happened  these past months, how much I have been trough.

 I looked to my left and watched her sleep with a smile on her face, turned facing her and closed my eyes to hear her breath. Reached for her hand and held it in mine, somehow she seemed to know I was holding her hand and moved closer to me resting her head on my pillow, close enough to be able to feel her warm breath on my shoulder. I could not look away from the sight of her deep in her sleep, I wondered what she was dreaming about, what made that smile appear on her face?. Kissed her on her forehead, the more I looked to her in her sleep the more I wondered... suddenly felt an urge to write! I wanted to get it of my chest...but my lap was back at home, so I tried to release my mind from these thoughts...

Guess I somehow felt asleep and woke up a few hours later at around 3 AM, She was holding me from my waist with her both arms, tried to turn to face her but I was afraid to wake her up, so I stood still. Again, thoughts and feelings started to come back to me, I wondered if it was right to hide it all from her. Months ago I was ready to tell her everything but then, I thought better not, as the world and life we are used to will have to change, perhaps in an unrepairable way. But who am I to make such a choice? Who am I to alter this?. 

"A year ago I wanted to have a world of my own...now I want you part of this world...but I'm afraid to show who I have become...so sleep well my dear keep that smile on your face....keep dreaming the sweet dream your dreaming...".

It will always be me, no matter what name or face I hide behind...I am just looking at the world from a different perspective. Now...I'm actually listening...listening and listening  to the sound of silence that is still.  

picture by tumblr

Just Like A Pill...

Weather is dull and by 5pm the sun hits the horizon...its the only reason why I don't like winter, for the rest I love it! I love the cold and I love the rain (and not to mention that while driving to work I just adore to look at the sunset! the sunset in winter over here is something to take your breath away!!). The temperature dropped by a a lot the past couple of days, its funny just 2 weeks ago people where still swimming at a lovely 25(deg) and now we are wearing our winter jackets!. But this is not what I want to talk about...    
This morning had an early start again , this week have been hectic!, lot was going on and I struggled to get most of the stuff out of the way!. Plus a little bad luck striked again this week, had  a car accident luckily not much harm was done, my foot pooped again so I'm walking with a limp yet again....and GRRRRR!! not to mention work!! and Mr Crabs and his damn NUTS!!!. 

Breath in breath out....
Had no time for myself this week, but today...had to drop my car for a service so I adventured myself in the "cold" ...13(deg) yeah for me... that is cold! well ended up with no car for a few hours so here I am grabbing a cup of piping hot tea wearing my red woolly socks sharing some thoughts before continuing my bag packing.

 I was not looking forward for this 2 day retreat, but now, after all the shit that happened this week I gladly will escape for 2 days! I'm just hoping that the sea is not rough as I like my ferry trips to be quite smooth!. Hopefully will have some rest even though I plan early escapes to catch the sunrise in the amazing setting that our neighbour  island is proudly known for, and hopefully be able to snap a few pictures too!.

 To be honest with you...these past days I had some stuff going on my mind...a few days ago hummm Sunday to be precise, I had yet an other invitation, I promptly said "No!" and made a big effort to end up the conversation as quickly as possible!. But at the back of my mind I just can't get the thought out of my head. And when I do,  something comes up and remind me of it, perhaps I'm a little paranoid, may be I am yes a little. 
Since then I tried to avoid... although my mind is set on an automatic reply that promptly comes out before I even think  or had the time to process what the question was. Although I say No...I still feel, and I still hope that someday even if for one day, we'll meet...

                                                                                                                            picture Lisboa

"Its funny when you are distant from something or someone, 

the more you need it, the more you want it..."

                                                                

                                                                  -------------O--------------

Yesterday finished work quite late as it was pretty busy again and since Mr Crabs still have found no replacement for the position,  we are still just 2 working in the bloody kitchen! (sorry  for my moment of rage relief).  

 I have this feeling inside me, somehow feels like a little sadness, or perhaps a nostalgic feeling of a few months ago... that makes me stop, and many times smile, especially when hearing a song while at work...and I say my now famous quote at work "will the sun rise today on the other side of the world?!". Yesterday I saw a ray of light, so it might rise, even if for a day..I be happy to see a familiar smile one of these days. 

                                Was browsing in my G-mail and found this :)

                                                                                   Taken April this year...

                                   after a long night chatting till the sun was rising...

                                                           then left to take this picture.... 

"some how it feels colder without your smile..."

            

No tittle....

Just finished my morning espresso, and a ham sandwich...."the older I get the harder is to recover from hangovers.."guess Tory was right about this!! But I must say it was an amazing evening! I longed for a day like yesterdays evening! So a big thanks should go to Tory (I know you listen ^^ ) and to her Irish friend...sorry forgot her name again!!!  the alcohol lingering in my body not helping me to remember :P 

11 hours later ...

I am now getting to remember a few hints of what happened last night! xD God Dublin in 2 years!! I must really start working on that if I want it to become a reality! But we all made a promise, so we must all try and keep it! And I can already see me mopping the floor in Dublin!!

                                                                                                             Me on St Patrick's Day 

But first must recover from this hang over ! xD 

                                                                                                   Me this morning...

I must add that the coffee cocktail was just out of this world...I just have one complaint...they should really use a more man(ly) glass!!! or perhaps I should order mine in a coffee cup next time xD. 

                                                                                                       Note to barman...man glass!!

So looking forward to see you soon one of the days coming...so that we could show the pretty looking Irish that there is much more to see!!! 

And dear....whenever you need remember I'm here..never forget that!....you helped me when I was needing help the most.....I will never forget that....thanks dear...

pictures by gooogle images 

Robin is back

Seams like summer came to its end, It is getting slightly chilly at night now, and early in the morning you do feel that fresh feeling in the air. 

Today just like many other days my alarm rang at 7 AM, not that I usually get out that fast of bed I love to linger about in bed for that extra 5...15...perhaps 30 minutes longer!. But today it was different,  woke up to a familiar sound, I could hear it faint as I rolled  up my self in the bed sheets this morning, somehow stretched one foot out and looked for my bed slippers, hard task if done in complete darkness, half asleep and still with your head glued to the pillow!!. After a few minutes of foot tip tapping the floor there it was ...found it!.  Opened my bedroom window and there he was again...Robin was back! For the 5th year the very same robin comes to rest for a month or two in our garden.I usually leave some stale bread on the window sill, I love watching him from behind my bedroom window hopping from one tree to an other, what a nostalgic feeling....   

He never changed his habits, he still knocks on my window with its beak, 

Its seams like time have stood in its world out of my bedroom window, 

but from this side I feel like all is different and new 

almost alien to me.... 

Image provided by google images 

OnThe Other Side Of The World

 Walked down the flight of steps from the kitchen to the main door last Saturday, I looked for my punch card and looked at the time. I remembered we must change to the winter time now, good, I thought one more hour of sleep!. Placed my card back where it was and slowly walked out into the almost creepy silence of the city. Looked up to the sky perhaps to see if the stars are still shining today, could see nothing the lights from the city is hiding them. Reached for my keys and continued walking. Drove off slowly.

Went down the usual shortcut, although the road is not lit at all it saves me a good 10 minutes of driving. Stepped on the gas, then slowed down....parked my car aside went out in almost complete darkness, looked up to the sky...now I could see the stars. Now I could see your star. I think I smiled, and felt pretty calm and almost forgot the busy day....

Walked towards a rubble wall and sat on a large rock, its getting chilly now I can see that summer is at its end, but I still refuse to believe, I still wonder about in my shorts and T-shirt. My tan is fading away too haven't been to the beach for a month now...a month....

Stood up and back to the car, back home I go...wondering if the sun has risen on the other side of the world.
I smiled again to my self, faster, faster I want to be home, must hit the shower, must remove this awful smell of fish off me!. Arriving home switched on lapy and right after went to hit the shower. Now at least the unpleasant fish smell was gone, now I could rest perhaps sleep longer..

Looked up for any mail, and looked up my accounts...had a few messages but now what I was expecting...

 I was waiting for an answer, an answer I have never asked a question for......how long do I have to wait?
Guess the sun has not risen on the other side of the world...not yet at least....

Pictures by google images 

Morning!!

Alarm went off, reached for it to turn it off, some how hit snooze, it rang and rang over and over, cursed it!.
Reached for my phone 7am!...why the hell I set the alarm for 7am in the first place!?.
 Yesterday was a shitty day arrived home at 1am after a 15hour shift...tried to find my bed slippers in almost complete darkness...and made my way to the kitchen and made my self an espresso...as I held the warm cup in the palm of my hand I finally remembered why I set the alarm at 7!! must give the suppliers a call, must order stuff for this evening....looked at the clock 9:10am ...hum ? how is that possible? did I get lost in a time warp? or perhaps slept again and completely forgot....sigh....shit!! my phone-diary! left it in the car! back to my room to put shorts and a T-shirt on.

Good, suppliers called! now what to do?.... Better have another coffee this time an americano ..not that it will contain any less caffeine...just coz I need  a long lasting drink to lazy about with. Looked in the cupboard for a treat...found a tub of bear shaped biscuits that I brought from the pound shop last week...well "tub"...just the last few remaining survivors! as I found these cute buttery biscuits quite addictive!!. So as I dunk the last few remaining in my coffee switched on my lappy. Signed in my inbox... unbelievable!!! no word from Mr Crabs!! yippy ^^ he must be riding his new toy I guess! well all the better let him enjoy his expensive little toy .... although I cant believe he spent 45 thousand Euros on a car stingy as he is!!  ....anyway...
....good!!  I said to my self  now the important stuff.... Facebook!.

Logged in and found a few messages from my friends, Hooo! I now remember must edit a few pictures for the up coming party! (Halloween party) Yeah...I somehow ended up organizing a Halloween part as if my life wasn't busy enough!....but I somehow like it!.
Although my costume is far from ready..still must work on a few more bits...but it will be hopefully ready in time! Have to work on decorations too! with a budget of 33Euros!! not sure how that is possible...but I will try...luckily! Talked to a friend that knew an other friend of her  and .....we have been "donated" the most unbelievable venue ever!! well...almost!. But the place is creepy enough as it is, so not much work need to be done!.

So here I go...Lets get some work ready :)

Working with the Nutty

I have been working for almost a year at the restaurant, and all have become routine!. But I have not forgotten  how cushy this job actually is!. I was the one to complain over a year ago when I was hitting the 80hr a week!!. BRRR! I don't even want to remember about it!.  Compared  the 40hr week is peanuts now!.

One thing I hated about the old job was my supposedly 20 minute drive, that most of the time turned to a 40 minute drive!!. Stuck in a never ending traffic jam cursing each car trying to overtake me! enhancing my blasphemous dictionary!. Not mentioning the parking problem I had to face as soon as I arrived to my destination!. That alone took an other 20 minutes many a time!!!. sigh...

There are a few things I don't like about this job,  but you cant have it all right?.

Once upon a time there lived a nut eating monster...

 I sparked a bit with Mr Crabs the past days!. Had many issues in my head and was at the point of quitting, showing off my middle finger to old dear Mr Crabs!.  The most issue that is fucking me up  is his stingy-ness!!.
The past days we had the "Nuts" saga !!! yeah nuts, those hard shelled fruits, dried seeds thing(ies).    yeah these little fellows here !!

Really!! I am not kidding about it! I know these little fellows come at a price and they are not cheap...but picture this.. apparently  the morning cleaner and the handyman are eating extraordinary amounts of them!. Now let me point this out....we use nuts in a few dishes and dessert....and we keep them in there raw state! so for those who are familiar with these little fellows knows that they are highly un-digestible in raw state and form! so in reality how much they can eat  before they get an indigestion???..... unless they were squirrels   in there past lives...in that case I do understand his fear and point !!!

At one point it was funny till I started receiving messages and emails bout them!! Here are a few examples...

•  Good morning ***** ,

Last Saturday you forgot the pine nuts tub near ******** shelf and the morning staff had their share of it and then when for teh salted peanuts in the bar. Last night you forgot all the nuts in the kitchen, and I cannot take them away now as since they are working in the kitchen.

• *****,

I am upset about the handyman, as now he is attacking the mixed nuts that we use for the nut tart. Please if needs be put them in your locker. I cannot afford to ruin our relationship due to these nuts, however you know how expensive they are.

I am meeting ************ tomorrow morning to finalise his situation, in the meantime I would like to finalise yours  as well.

****

• ***** *******

Desserts nuts were not hidden, however the handyman is not on duty, he is working on TUESDAY!!!!

Got my point ? and these are just a few messages I have received regarding the above mentioned NUTS! Our love hate relation ship went on a different levels when I sketched   Mr Crabs holding his beloved nuts and saying "leave my nuts alone!!"  I found it funny.... apparently he did not!...

 Yet an other message.....

Driving to the lair of the nut eating monster...

You know working in a city with grey buildings and busy roads is pretty depressing in my opinion...one thing I love bout my working place is the short drive I take trough the countryside... except for the rude truck drivers but that is an other story!!

Yep that's right Mr Crabs lives up there....Its where the nut events are taking place where a nasty handyman is feeding on unattended nuts.....

Care must be taken!! .... the way is infested with traps one must be aware of them!!!...

Then down the valley I go!!! with its mystical character and gigantic doorways that lead to nowhere... I think....or they do?









                                           Protecting the door to his lair....a              
                                                           scary...terrible...meowing.....
                                                                                 creature......

   

    The End .....

                                                                ....or not?....

Pictures provided by google images 

Other pictures by Hotei

on the edge of insanity...

Driving to work after hours of work on a non finished menu ...switching on the CD on high volume so that  I can almost not hear me think.......

.......must snap out of it !....can't afford to put the standard down...working is getting near impossible  with only two chefs in the kitchen (me included!!) the restaurant is busy as hell!! had over 650 people booked in a week ! My feet are refusing to carry the weight of my body any more. Feel like giving up already! Have completely forgot how it feels to have such responsibility!. Mr Crabs constant whining about how bad the financial situation  is...... not of any help at all ...especially after feeding a mear 115 guests in just one evening!!!   And you wonder why does he keep running this business in the first place?! if doing such a service is not leaving any profit!!.

The most thing that is getting to me is the fact that I am constantly bombarded by emails and calls!. The other chef had half the situation sorted as I carried out half the chores of the day....now I have to struggle to do them on my own!. And besides just 2 weeks ago we where 4 working in the kitchen! now we are just two! And to put the cherry on the cake Mr STINGY wont place an advert on the paper as it will cost money!! so he rather jeopardise the standard of the food  then his pocket!!!    This is what I find completely ridiculous and stupid!. So why Mr crabs cant see that?. I wanted so much this... now I'm cursing the moment I have accepted...now I took a road and its hard to go back not after just a week I will loose credibility! I know... if I put my mind to it I can do it, after all I have been doing this for a decade now! but somehow I cant concentrate on anything!. I feel like going to battle without a strategy, and I freeze as the enemy is n sight!. I was the one known for never panicking in any situation....I always kept cool and calm in the most pressured  situations....now for the first time it is getting to me! not sure if I can take this any longer.....   Now off to feed  an other 120...

Missing Tory's Birthday tonight wish I could be there but duty is calling.....Missing a lot actually!!! Its is almost impossible to believe how much my life changed in just 2 weeks, had no day off for 2 weeks.... had to say goodbye to my morning swim....had to say goodbye to my hobbies....sigh...Lets think positive things will get better soon!.

Back to the fast lane

Run, Run, Run! back to the fast lane ! I have completely forgot how it feels to be in it! I somehow love it I somehow hate it! I love the fact to be part of a  tight laced team (well it was until one resigned >< ).... anyway.. and I hate the fact that I don't have much time for me!.

Had many things planed, but now with the new menu planning and all had to postpone them to later on!. So my apologies to you listeners of Whispers!. Hope I finish most of the work soon and be back to you! Mr crabs permitting :P I simply don't like the man at all! but what can I do he's my boss, and the business is his!

So I finish this cup of coffee and carry on !

                                                   Pictures provided by tumblr

Three reasons to be pissed off!!!

Tigers, Demons and Wisdom teeth! 

Gorgole it with some Whiskey or Brandy! my Scottish friend said as I drove her back to the airport. Its true!, it works....gorgole and then swallow, it will wash the pain away, after two or three times!. That is what we do back in Scotland! giggle...giggle...at least that will put you asleep!.  Well I had no option! but to try, painkillers not working!. All I found was a bottle of white wine in the refrigerator, hoo well it will have to do! beggars can't be choosers!, had a glass, or two cant remember properly!, all I know is that I woke up ten hours later with a splitting headache. 2am!! hoo God have to drive home still! looked around me TV was on, the discovery channel... have nothing better to air then ancient aliens!!. Cassidy and her brother were fast asleep too, shook them up to wake them, Tried to stand up but the room spin a couple of times and stopped as I landed back onto the sofa. Waited five more minutes and up I went again! grabbed my stuff and tried to put my snickers on, my left foot is swollen again, I wondered as I laced my snickers, how the hell this bloody Asian tiger mosquito got over here and decided to set her self satisfy full on my left foot!!. It have been almost a week and it still shows! its like some kind of a freak surgeon neatly inserted a tennis ball underneath the skin of my left foot!.Emptied a few tubs of ointments on it the past days but it doesn't seam that it want to go away, darn thing!!! Just what I needed! the perfect accompaniment with the agonising pain of this damned wisdom tooth!.

Got into the car and drove slowly back home, the roads where deserted...until some I think "irregular immigrant" made sign to stop stretching his arms wide open in the middle of the road!. I would have stopped on an other occasion, but tonight the roads where deserted and most probably he would have asked me  where is the nearest border or train station...yeah right! I would say!. Had a few hundreds coming in the past months many try to flee the police custody not realizing that there is nowhere to hide or find your way out of this country unless you swim  a few Miles up north!! and if you are lucky enough you end up on our sister Island...that is even smaller!.

You don't know me? what the fuck?!

A very BAD week I call it, and to top it all up....GRRRR!!! thinking about it makes me sooo angry!!!.

I don't know you he said! you have a low profile he said!! you have to proof yourself he said!!!.

hoo well fuck you! Worked so hard for this!. I was extremely happy when the boss asked me if I would take over the kitchen, I mean I worked so hard in the past year as a sous Chef, and I thought that it was time it would pay off that work! well apparently no!. MR STINGY!! offered me a 25Euro pay rise!!! woow ! what the hell! I'd rather keep my position! or leave if he thinks I'm worth only 25Euro!! I'm sure Mr Crabs gave a higher pay rise to spongebob to cook crabby patty's !!. 

Its that I don't know you very well he insisted!! What ??? so where were you the past year ?! cause I know where I was! I was here sweating my ass for you MR STINGY!.

Its cause you keep a low profile!. What??? I keep a low profile? what is that suppose to mean?? what you want me to do? cook naked? do the dance as I toss the pasta?....

Its that you have to proof your self he said!! ...I give up ....I so wanted to tell him what I think of him and his stupid excuses! so I just left the office and headed back to the kitchen.

The guys noticed that my skin tone changed to a red(dish) colour at least 50 shades darker!! I could feel steam coming out of my head!!. "so Mr Crabs did it again, huh Hotei?" I lurked back at him and uttered no word. "Come on we all been trough that! you know how he is made!" I know! I know how the man is made!  but its just that I can't get over it. I mean if he said that we are in a very bad financial situation I would have understand, even tough its always busy. But telling me that he don't know me?, so why he keep my "curriculum Vitae"?. He knows my background! where I come from! what position I held!. So what the fuck  is wrong with the man?.  

so here I go " FUCK YOU MR STINGY!! ".

                                                                                                Picture provided by google images

P party!

A party to remember;

A few years ago ..hum round about 3 years ago...Cassidy and I went to a "P" party well the point of a "P" party is that every one must wear like some one, or something that starts with a P!! few examples are (prigiles, princes, punk,,,ect ect ) well Cassidy wore like one of the power puff girls (the green one!!) and I like a professor!!

The party was fun and had a few drinks over the driving limit !!! (not something to be proud of!!)

On our way back we found a road block and the police where making tests and checking the drivers and there cars ...

So we slowed down and placed our self in the "Q" right next to us noticed that there were two other from the party wearing ...hum....like a pornstar, all in pink fish nets tights tong on the out side.....you got the picture  :P !! and the guy was dressed up as a policeman xD .....

The police stopped them and made them get out of the car!! took there details and big shit !!!

I was like fuck no!! I will get in trouble too :(

I put down my window ....took out my documents and as I was going to say something he pointed the torch to Cassidy and me and he said, "its ok sir I can see that you are on duty !! you may proceed !! sorry for stopping you !! "

XD

The expression on the "pornstar" and the "policeman" faces as we drove away was priceless !!

push...push and push!!

After a few weeks all seamed to be going back to normality and I could enjoy more time with Cassidy. Tas was doing fine, and the risk that I took gave its fruit in the end, resulting that Tas gave all that he could and made giant leaps!

As summer was over, the peak season went away with it and we had more free time!.

I remember those days clearly!! Still driving an old car ....I think it could remember world war II !! hoo God how many times I kicked the tyers as it stooped on the way to work or back home!! Way to many times to remember!!. I hated that car! but to the date I had no option!, I couldn't afford something better with the wage I had before my promotion. I drove Tas a 100 times and most of them we had to push the car down the road so that it would start!!!

One day, on a rainy day, I was driving to work and I guess it was one of those days that you tell to your self ...."I have better stayed home today!!". The roads were packed and jammed with traffic!! poor car ..or poor me ...it stopped just after a 5 minutes drive!!.....Somehow I managed to make it go again !!....

Its stopped a second time only minutes away from work and luckily I got help from a guy working in a garage nearby, God bless him!! As I was more or less 300metre away from the hotel .....the water raised God knows why! and the car stopped again!! this time blocking the road!! and therefore seizing the other cars!!  As much as I tried it didn't want to know!!! I sweared and punched and kicked and cursed  the damn thing !! had water rising up to my knees, and had to push the car up the road, while the other drivers called me names!! and the people that where in the cafes laughed at me, and made fun of me, the only thing missing was a stand  with a sign that said (free rotten vegetable to throw to Hotei!!!). Soaking wet, pushing the car against the flow of water!!! Grrrr!!!
 Somehow I got it parked in a spot and left it there, went to work soaking wet!! had to dry my cloths and uniform under the heating lamps!! wondered for at least one and a half hours in my undies till I could wear my pants again!! sigh......

The next day after towing away my "Car" well I didn't call it a car any more I called it a "cart" from that day onwards ....anyway, went looking for a new car.
Dad was against me buying a new car, he said "The car is fine its you that don't know how to handle it!!" say's the man that had to push the car a million times!!! but of course I was the one that was wrong....anyways....

For at least two weeks had to go to work by bus...and back those days we had buses...hum very .... "charactered" just on the 3rd stage of vintage!! most of them had there 50th birthday celebrated!! and others I'm sure that they where used by solders  in second..... or better in world war I !!!! It was a bumpy ride!! ....Nowadays I miss them especially when I compare them to the "modern" Arriva bus service!!! but that is an other story ......

Keeping the boat afloat!

Nigel was gone ...there was no one to replace him ....I passed day after day regretting the fact that I haven't left with Vince when he asked me to....but greedy me, I saw the money! A mercenary ....that what Vince called me!, he was right!!. I wanted to resign there and then ..and escape from all the hassle!!

Then I saw true friendship materializing  in front of my eyes!!.
 Many came to see how I was doing, while others gave a helping hand during there break time....I appreciated a lot there gesture and never forget that!!. For two whole weeks I worked virtually alone!. day after day, night after night!!
 One day as I was having a cup of coffee with chef in the restaurant I said .."how on earth we can't find a replacement!?" then I continued " can I make a proposal?" yes he said ..."what about Tassu?  I could train him! I take full responsibility for  him"
Tassu was from India, and had worked with me more or less four years, he was our pantry guy...and since Nigel left he helped me out on daily basis!. "are you sure of what you are saying?" chef said "Christmas is due in three months!! will you make it?". "Its working with him ...or no one from the way things are working out!!" I exclaimed!!." I'll take the gamble!!!"

I reached for my phone and called Tassu....told him that where ever he is, he must run!! run, to the restaurant!!
hehehe poor Tassu he came in about 15 minutes! breathless and sweaty !!! He accepted the offer chef made him, and started his training on the day!!. 

I admit days came where I had regretted the day!! and many times I looked up to the ceiling calling my self an idiot!!! what the hell got into you? why not train Tassu!!! whoooo its better then noting!!.Stupid, Stupid Hotei!!  

But, it did pay in the end, he improved overnight and executed most of the jobs perfectly ^^ ......"almost"  --" 

especially when it came to the dessert bit ......thanks God that the critic never showed up again and ordered the cream caramel!! God how many times I opened the oven and found scrambled eggs instead of custard!! sigh...

Tassu and me worked for over three years together had many ups and downs!..it was a bumpy adventure but I enjoyed the ride !! 

No one quite like you.

There are times that you just can't follow a schedule, and today was one of them...

 It have been a wonderful day considered  how it started!.



"Do you need a wake up call?" she asked me.
"Please!" I replied.

You gave me a wake up call, just like you said...You always or at least you do your best to keep your promises. 

 I was to "anxious" I was needing to write more... not even time for a coffee... almost!. 
I wrote and wrote, I got lost in a time warp called blog!!. Lost track of time! I had to pick you up but I forgot to!
Looked at the phone 5 missed call's, 2 messages..... Shit!! In just seconds closed my laptop changed to my swimming trunks, grabbed a towel, wallet, camera....out I go ...arrrg! *#/?! car keys!!... sigh Ok ready to go.... car hot as hell!!!! nooooo!!!! forgot to put on the sun shield again!! :s

Drove like crazy...found you waiting in the scorching sun!.
"Sorry I'm late!" I said
"...." you just kept silent....
Don't blame you if you'r angry with me......  I would be.... I said to my self.
"Half hour in the sun...what do you think?" She shouted
"Sorry ...I ....overslept!" I mumbled.
"And what about the wake up call? why did you need one if you went back to bed? you said see you soon!!" she continued yelling.
"Slept again right after.... work been terrible last night!" I said.
"This is happening on daily basis now.... sigh ..all the hiding and mysteries"

I asked her if she would have liked to stop for a refreshing drink and grab b'fast \ lunch = "brunch".
we did ..... .we talked over a few topics .... mostly general stuff ordered our food and a take out salad to take with us by sea.

Hoo God ....I almost choked in my drink, just as I was having my first sip... as you said out of the blues "so what about your blog? !!!"
Blog? ...what blog?...(my heart stopped)
The cooking page! you should really set one up  ,I know you can do it ...you can write recipes and helpful tips too,  people will love that!!!

Wheeew sweet, sweet relief.

Somehow I postponed  the subject to an other time yet again .....

Today was amazing ^^ loved the swim in the chilly waters, our walk by the sea... the Chinese take out ...and the movie.... and now here I am again, writing...

I thank you my dear you made today special ....made me remember once again why I love you ...and as much many times I don't show you, I do, I really, really do! perhaps I never loved any one quite like you.....

A trip !!

After a year of dating Cassidy her family asked me I'f  I would have wanted to join them on the annual  holiday. I accepted very happily !! :)
So they opted for Tunisia .....back those days it was a very popular destination and a cheap one too!!.
I remember even exchanging money ! the bank gave us 4 dinnars for each 100cents  (we still didn't have Euro back then). That is equivalent to one dinnar for every 30 euro cents !! pretty good huh?? :op

It started on a .......ho God....."Tuninter" It looked like a post war air-plane !! with patches just like on a cartoon !! It seated may be 45 or 60 cant remember ..
It was ok.... after a scary flight and a very bumpy landing !
Climate was amazing was warm but not as hot as back home!
We took a taxi from the airport to the hotel, a 3 star just next to "port el kantaoui ".
port el kantaoui is a huge tourist complex, very well made and well kept! :D

so there we were her mum and dad, Cassidy and her younger brother and me!! ^^  hooo and I have forgotten her grand parents too!!

The adventure begin! 

At reception... a huge misunderstanding... they gave us just  a room ! a huge room but not what we wanted ! they fitted 7 beds!! it was like a dormitory!!

well they had no other room available and we had stay in it  for the night ! they would have fixed the problem in the morning ! and so it happened! 

they gave us 3 rooms one for mum and dad, one for her grand parents and a triple for us !

It was just great !   

It was the first time that I could sleep in the same bed with Cassidy,  that it self was a huge  thing for me !!

we I ...ok ...ok we had her brother with us ...but I guess that is the disadvantage of  being raised up in a highly catholic society!!! No sleeping or flesh consumption before marriage! ...sigh ...

Well no problem !! I had just the right thing to fix the problem in my bag !! I had bought along 3 bottles of vodka !! That would have put the little brother to a deep sweet sleep!! :)

And that is what happened ..as the night came we stuffed him up with a few good shots (just  enough to ....hum that we had to carry him to bed!) 

  
It was  exiting ...the fact that it was  risky ! making love while her brother was fast asleep just next to us ! sometimes I could have swear'd I saw him looking at us ! while our bodies frictioned against each other, especially when she slipped a scream!. But I guess that was part of the fun !! :P

...early in the morning as the sun was rising over the horizon.. that it could be seen from our room,  I remember her slipping her  hand from under the covers, reaching for my ...hum well ....Morning wood!. That was ok until the messy part came !! and the need to clear up the evidence before her brother woke up!!

I was young ...well both of us were :P ..
this was one of the best time of our life :) 
The trill ...the passion it just seemed to escalate day by day ...I will never forget the days we spent Together every single moment I treasure it like a pearl ...a rare pearl in the chest of my heart safe guarded by my soul ....

It was an amazing week but just like good things it must come to an end ...so it was back to ....hooo God Tuninter ...

weather got hummmm BAD !!!! and the flight was anything but pleasant!! almost every one on board got sick and I remember for the first time in my life I prayed ...