A hasty decision...

Only God knows how much I prayed, only God knows what kind of thoughts passed trough my head. I was on the verge of insanity. How could have this happen to me? how? and why?. I always thought I knew what I wanted from my life, I was sure I knew. But there I was, lost and confused.

I needed time to be alone, to think things over. I wanted to be away from everyone and everything. But its hard when you have commitments, and even harder when the farther you can be is just a few km away, and most probably or eventually will meet or bump into someone you know to remind you of who you are and where you come from, these are the disadvantages of living on an island measuring 14/27 km!.

For days I avoided opening my laptop and for days I heard this voice coming out of it calling my name and asking me to go back. I was going mad.

Then a godsend!, my friend from the UK invited Cass and me to stay over her house for a few days. I accepted without any hesitation, and Cass looked quite trilled too to the idea. The invitation came at the right time and moment, it was what the both of us needed.

I left the voices in my head back home and left to the quiet of the English countryside. It was what I needed, it was what the both of us needed. At the back of my head Guga was still a constant, but everyday that passed he felt distant and even more distant. It was like, I could see clearly again, he was still lingered in my head but I felt like I knew what was happening to me. I felt somehow, some what reborn!. It felt good...

Extended my stay by 4 more days, travelled south to London, and booked a lovely room in a small hotel, situated in the centre (for those who knows the TV series upstairs downstairs, it was one of those old mentions renovated and turned to boutique hotels). Very romantic, we had all the time and quiet we needed and wanted.

Loved to hear you breath while you sleep..

Loved to feel your warm breath on my chest...

Waking beside you...warm..

while outside was cold....

Listening to the rain while we both felt into deep sleep...

On my return home I knew what I wanted to do..... I knew it was a very hasty decision, but I was sure I wanted to do it!. There was no other options, and I felt like it was my  make me or break me decision...this would have been the final answer, I would have all of the answers I needed or simply loose everything I had . All that I wanted to know would have come to me, only...would it be all the same? and would I take it? and mostly important, what will Cassidy think?....would we survive this as-well?...

Its not always easy to share, to be continued ...

Pictures by tumblr and Hotei.